Secret Society by Tom Dolby + Contest!

Published September 29th, 2009.

Do you ever wonder how some people have it all? The best schools, the hottest parties, the priciest clothes, the easiest jobs? Maybe it's not because they work hard or get a lucky break every once in a while. Maybe it's because they're part of a secret group. A secret society. (book back blurb)

Gee. Yet another book about rich prep school kids getting everything handed to them. How original.

It's Skull and Bones, peanut version but with some estrogen. The whole Egyptian involvement is completely contrived and never really explained. I understand we're hopping around behind the eyes of the noobs to the group but as far as I'm concerned, these guys thought the Egyptians were cool and decided to use their logos for their club. By the end of the book, they could have been pirates for all it mattered to the overall plot.

And noob tattoo dude mistake numero uno - the neck is one of the most conspicuous spots to put a tattoo. No matter how small it is, unless it's a little black dot, it's going to get noticed. No more bobs for those girls! For a secret society, they sure flaunt their marker, don't they?

As far as the writing goes, I didn't feel it was quite there yet. It was . . . mediocre. In the hands of someone with more experience or greater talent, I think it could have done better but instead we get a Swiss cheese plot that meanders in all the wrong places, is thoroughly short on suspense and elementarily written. The characters are one dimensional, narrow-minded and as woe-is-me as you'd expect them to be in their current situations.

What little information we are given of this half-assed society is awkwardly dumped in some of the most chunky and ridiculously-sounding sentences I've ever read. The fact that the invitation is only handed out to prep school kids in their junior year is laughable. Want to narrow it down anymore? People with only blue eyes? One leg slightly shorter than the other? Literally, I laughed when that information was dumped because, considering the context and the way it was said, it was just absurd.

Maybe this is something that's just showing my age but the casualness of underage drinking in this book really shocked me, not to mention the lack of consequences for these over-privileged kids. It's parentfail if I've ever seen it because if I had ever come home drunk and hours past curfew, my grounded ass would never see the light of day again. These kids are actually encouraged to act like shitheads. Again, parentfail. I'm all for lowering the drinking age to 18 because if you're old enough to die for your country, you're old enough to have a drink (because that beer is so more more to handle than those assault rifles and justifiable homicide) but the extreme casualness of it all, how out in the open it was, just really bothered me. We had to be super sneaky when we drank. These kids just did it out in the open with absolutely no consequences. How nice.

The whole secret society concept is unoriginal. The writing needs to be improved. To me, the characters were unrelatable. Because of the poor writing, it lacked the suspense required of these kids' situations. Maybe if it was there, maybe if I was able to feel their fear at what was going on, I might have been able to connect to them. But nope. Tell, tell, tell. I don't care. If I don't feel it, those characters could drink themselves to death and I wouldn't bat an eye . . . oh wait . . .

Maybe it's just my age that's preventing me from liking this one. Or the sheer number of writing flaws have thoroughly detracted me from anything that might be worthwhile in the text. Either way, I didn't like it. This one easily blends in to all the other prep school crap that's out there. Except now it's tainting ancient Egypt's good name and for, apparently, no good reason because the connection is never made.

Alas, by the looks of the end, this isn't the last we'll see of this OMG-we-must-keep-this-secret-but-lets-give-ourselves-secret-tattoos-in-one-of-the-most-unsecret-places-on-our-bodies secret society but rest assured, I won't be reading it. Inconsistencies and technical fallacies irk me. Especially when I'm sick. Irk meter is that much higher. And the ending wasn't even good either. You almost expect it for everything that's happened. But because the author can't write a suspenseful sentence, you don't actually feel it so it all falls flat.

Oh yeah, your neck is one of the most PAINFUL places to get a tattoo. Anywhere where you have a concentration of nerve endings. Where your brain stem meets your spine? I'd say that's a pain hot spot. Just another fallacy that had me not believing anything the author wrote. For a 16 year old, they'd be crying. Just remember, a tattoo needle is as thick as a dime that moves up and down really quickly that punctures your skin over and over and over again in order to wedge the ink in there. And all this being done mere millimeters from your brain stem. Hello???

And this is an ankh tattoo people--


While the circle didn't hurt at all, the butterfly body was some of the most god awful pain I've ever felt in my life. I'll be going back to get my fifth sometime in early spring. And this is on my left hip bleeding onto the top of my leg. The circled ankh is 8 years old and the body is 5. I heart tattoos.

Contest Time!

Want my ARC? Just leave a comment with your email answering this question -

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they of? If not, would you get one and what of?

No answer, no entry. Period.

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This is open to US residents only and the contest will end October 30th at midnight, EST. Good luck!