Tuesday, September 8, 2009

UNCLE!

Uncle? *looks around* Uncleuncleuncleuncleuncleuncle . . .

Dammit! I thought that was supposed to make it stop! WTF?

Ok, but seriously, can we stop with the Twilight shit please? It's getting a little fucking ridiculous. I mean, I don't even think New Kids on the Block were this into merchandising, and that's saying something. But really, is the publisher that hard up to get Wuthering Heights off the shelves that they feel it needs to be re-jacketed?


Bella and Edward's favorite book? One, Tedward never said he liked Wuthering Heights. That was purely Bella's game. Two, Wuthering Heights is something you slit your wrists to. I, personally, would not recommend it. Three, WTF do the flowers have to do with the story other than the books having contracted Twiherpes? Twirpes? Twarts . . . ? Syphilcullens. Nah. That's curable. Unless it's advanced . . . hmmmmm . . .

This just makes me want to introduce my head to a solid object. Preferably something made of brick. Twilight has officially turned into the cheap trick on the corner with the gut hanging out of her half shirt, one shoe (preferably a 5 inch clear stripper shoe), torn fish nets, make-up smeared across the side of her face and her front four teeth removed in an attempt to make the knob job better. The whore is worn out, man.

I love the mock re-jackets this site has but the scary thing is, considering the Twitards are delusional enough to think that Sookie Stackhouse is a ripoff of their beloved tome, they're fully capable of convincing themselves of this -


How many of them know that the officially sanctioned sequel to Dracula is coming out within the month? Alas, another ripoff, I'm sure. Nevermind even the sequel is an amalgam of stories Stoker himself created while he was still alive, over 100 years ago. Time machines! Duh!

At least Twilight doesn't have pins the size of dinner plates with Tedward's face on it! NKOTB has the leg up there. Shit . . . I just gave them an idea, didn't I? Damn and blast!

Just to give you an idea of just how ginormous these buttons were -


Those small ones look like your standard 2.5" pin. Dude, I wasn't lying that you could eat dinner off of those things.

7 comments:

...MY NAME IS ELENI AND I AM A BOOKAHOLIC... said...

step by step ohhh babyyy gonna get to you girllll lol sorry that song came to mind when I saw those buttons and heck yea they are huuuuge, their like freakin frisbees ;]

MissAttitude said...

Amen! This Twilight crazy is ridonkulous :D
I'm so over it (never really into it actually) and I can't beleive they really re-jacketedd Wuthering Heights as "BEdward's fav book". Wow. *shakes head in shame and disgust*.
Haha funny post!

Just Your Typical Book Blog said...

The Twilight craze really needs to calm down. That is so stupid to change the cover and slap on a dumb sticker like that. *shakes head*

Lol! I still have some of those buttons! And a couple new ones...cause I may or may not have went to two reunion concerts. *coolly walks away*

Reader said...

Well...maybe if it gets people to read?? The book publishers must really need money...

Lauren said...

I'm not sure what's scarier. Twilight 'branding' everywhere or the fact I used to *own* that Joey MacIntyre button.

Jessica said...

Marketing gone stupid. Why do they have to do this? The more they push the quicker people will get sick of it. Then something new will come along for them to do it with again. Super something to look forward to.

Donna said...

Twilight makes me twitch at this point.

And yeah, I was so a Donnie chick. I had the doll and everything.

This is, I love Band of Brothers and when NKOTB announced their reunion, 2nd Lieutenant Carwood Lipton and Donnie Walburg kept merging in my head and were doing running man across Foy. It was bad.

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