Buffy Pwns the Glitterpires

Two Things

One -


I've finished my own Fear Itself Challenge. I just need to post the review. And I have to say, I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I've Have to Kill You is total redemption. You'll see more in my review.

Two -

And now for something completely different . . .


Thank you, Lizzie. Nom, nom, nom. That is all.

The Pie Graph of Awesome

Grab a pen. Take notes. There will be a quiz. I thank my friend Squid for this. She originally thought I had something to do with this. I wish.

UNCLE!

Uncle? *looks around* Uncleuncleuncleuncleuncleuncle . . .

Dammit! I thought that was supposed to make it stop! WTF?

Ok, but seriously, can we stop with the Twilight shit please? It's getting a little fucking ridiculous. I mean, I don't even think New Kids on the Block were this into merchandising, and that's saying something. But really, is the publisher that hard up to get Wuthering Heights off the shelves that they feel it needs to be re-jacketed?


Bella and Edward's favorite book? One, Tedward never said he liked Wuthering Heights. That was purely Bella's game. Two, Wuthering Heights is something you slit your wrists to. I, personally, would not recommend it. Three, WTF do the flowers have to do with the story other than the books having contracted Twiherpes? Twirpes? Twarts . . . ? Syphilcullens. Nah. That's curable. Unless it's advanced . . . hmmmmm . . .

This just makes me want to introduce my head to a solid object. Preferably something made of brick. Twilight has officially turned into the cheap trick on the corner with the gut hanging out of her half shirt, one shoe (preferably a 5 inch clear stripper shoe), torn fish nets, make-up smeared across the side of her face and her front four teeth removed in an attempt to make the knob job better. The whore is worn out, man.

I love the mock re-jackets this site has but the scary thing is, considering the Twitards are delusional enough to think that Sookie Stackhouse is a ripoff of their beloved tome, they're fully capable of convincing themselves of this -


How many of them know that the officially sanctioned sequel to Dracula is coming out within the month? Alas, another ripoff, I'm sure. Nevermind even the sequel is an amalgam of stories Stoker himself created while he was still alive, over 100 years ago. Time machines! Duh!

At least Twilight doesn't have pins the size of dinner plates with Tedward's face on it! NKOTB has the leg up there. Shit . . . I just gave them an idea, didn't I? Damn and blast!

Just to give you an idea of just how ginormous these buttons were -


Those small ones look like your standard 2.5" pin. Dude, I wasn't lying that you could eat dinner off of those things.

Someone please pass me a tissue so I can stem the bleeding from my ears.

This was a comment I left on The Book Pixie's post about the same book and I tickled myself so damn much with it I had to post it here. Is that bad?

Learning vocabulary from Twilight is like learning dining etiquette from Jeffrey Dahmer.

I can haz brainz nao. This is were yule end up leaning words if yule us Twilight.

Put the liquids down NOW! It's of the utmost impotence!

Twilight T-Shirts You Might Not See Anytime Soon

During one of my fits of insane boredom and procrastination, I came up with some slogans for those of us that aren't, um, too fond of the Twilight series. Sometimes I have a little too much time on my hands.

Forks is for Hogwarts rejects.

Twilight - Setting women's rights back 80 years. Thanks.

Why have plot when you can have Twilight?

Twilight. Spitting on the craft since 2005.

Why have talent when you can have a sparkly dream?

Jealous of Twilight? Like I'm jealous of rabies.

Real vampires have fangs.

Plot holes? How about deep precipes of granite love and glitteriness?

Inconsistent? How about creatively erratic?

Who needs continuity when you have Twilight?

Who needs logic when you have Twilight?

Twilight - Guilty pleasure . . . we're talking 25 to life with no chance of parole guilty.

Team Stalker.

Team Pedophile.