Monday, October 4, 2010

The Girl's Guide to Vampires: All You Need to Know About the Original Bad Boys by Barb Karg + Contest!

Published January of 2009.

The good news is: He's tall, dark, and handsome.

The bad news is: He's a bloodsucking creature of the night. Not to mention arrogant, predatory, and immortal.

What's a girl to do? No worries--in this guide, girls learn everything they need to know about these romantic rogues, including how to:
  • Know when they've met a vampire
  • Avoid falling prey to a nightstalker's charms
  • Resist even the most aggressive advances
  • Protect themselves against the undead
  • Destroy a vampire--using everything from holy water to decapitation
Complete with a review of vampire books, TV shows, and films as well as accounts of real-life encounters with vampires, this book is all girls need to surrender to the night--and still make sure they're around to see another day! (from

Despite it's campy, cutesy attack style in order to suck young female readers in, it's actually a really good resource to have if you're looking for the Cliff Notes version on vampires. This book doesn't beat around the bush. Vampires are reanimated corpses. If you can get over that, you're good to head on out with a vamp.

From the Vlads to the crazies to the cinematic, this book has it all, jam-packed into less than 200 lean pages of bloody meat. The first two-thirds of the book is a mini-encyclopedia, going over the types of vampires, where they come from, how they're made, how you can kill them, what their personalities are like and so on. The last third gives you a run down of excellent vampires on film, in books and on TV. If you don't know of Dark Shadows, Forever Knight, Fright Night or Nosferatu, you're sorely lacking. All of this, though, is told with a keen teen-type of voice meant to suck in and intrigue, talk to instead of talk at because, quite frankly, lectures, even about awesome things like vampires, can get really boring.

The only issue I had with the book is the author referring to Stephenie Meyer as Queen of the Darned for her popular blue balls "vampire" books. You know, I guess you can't talk about the greater spectrum of vampires without giving SMeyer her due credit, however little that may be. Despite the fact that she printed literary horse shit, we can thank her in large part to the surge of vampire love in YA. Yeah, thanks for those brooding emo vamps in high school after 200 years. How cool. And I guess when you're trying to rope in the same crowd that swallows those pissy novels like a starving duck, you're going to want to play to that crowd a bit. Thankfully I have some other vampire "guides" that refuse to pander to the likes of the Mormon research!fail queen.

Other than that, I'm very happy with the book overall. It started vampire history where it deserved, tapped all aspects of vampire lore, however briefly, and tied it in nicely to modern day happenings across the entertainment board. If you want a quick undead breath into the world of vampires, this is a good place to start but I can guarantee that once you read this guide, you'll want to dive in deeper to the ever-expansive world of vampires. Oh it's so much wider than mere glittering and simpering and pining. Vampires are nasty, they're seductive, they're sexy and their fangs are fucking sharp!

Contest Time!!!

You want my copy of this mini-epic guide? Then just fill out the form below and be sure to answer the question. Your entry won't count without it. Also, by submitting your answer you agree to let me post it on this site. Open to US residents 13 years of age and older only. One entry per person per email address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Contest ends October 11th at midnight, EST.


Joanna said...

Great idea thanks!!

Ashley (Ashley's Bookshelf) said...

Sparkling fart....HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the giveaway!

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