Tuesday, July 17, 2012

YA Boys That Make Shitty Toys

So I had this epiphany fairly recently that I may just absolutely lose my shit if I come across any more irredeemable love interests in the YA I read.  We're talking full on, fecal-flinging madness here.  And if I pissed and moaned about it every time I came across it even my sieve hole of a brain would remember that repetition.

Here's my remedy: I'm going to make individual posts, with the help of some of my lady YAckers to fill in the gaps of douchiness that I haven't read, highlighting a shitty YA boy toy.  Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Patch, Ash AND SO MANY MORE that I don't have the mental capacity to remember them all at the moment.

I'm going to make this one sporadic just to mix it up.  I already have a lot of regular reoccurring posts, mainly because I'm a creature of habit and, well, my memory blows, if I haven't mentioned that already.  So keep your eye out.

What will these posts consist of?  The name of said shitty YA boy toy of the moment, the book from whence he dwells, his qualities at a glance, a longer rambling rant of his inherent dickbaggery, what his reality is (with visual supplementation) and what he's ultimately good for (also with visual supplementation).

So what are these visual supplements?  I think a key is required here.

The shitty YA boy toy's reality -

 An abuser, be it mentally or physically
 Asshole (yes, that is an ass in a hole)
 Total creeper
 Douche bag
 Quite possibly a kitten killer
Does NOT play well with others
Anger management issues

What the shitty YA boy toy is actually good for -

 The realization that you are FAR too awesome for him
 Birth control
 Eye candy
 Potential co-hero, if nothing else
 Life epiphanies aka the removal of rose-colored glasses
 Realizing just how amazing friends are
Realizing how much cooler hobbies, like knitting, are

Now you know and now you wait.  Who will the first shitty YA boy toy be?

Button image credits as follows, from top to bottom - fist, asshole, creeper, douchebag, kitten killer, doesn't play well with others, possessive, anger management, awesome, birth control, eye candy, co-hero, epiphanies, friends and hobbies.

The Shitty Toys

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