Sunday, August 9, 2009

Blogger Trolls Can Be Thwarted With Miak!

If you haven't heard yet,Kristi at The Story Siren has been going through some shenanigans with blogger trolls and their seemingly neverending bucket of time that should otherwise be occupied with useful things like hobbies, or brain exercises to, you know, keep that gray matter from further de-evolving back into primordial ooze.

You know, upping the blood pressure over interturds really isn't worth it. They're a nameless face behind a screen that insists in hiding behind anonymity instead of reaping the repercussions of their actions like the hardasses they think they are. But, alas, we're all human and every human has a breaking point. Kristi handled it with grace, tact and class. If it were me, well, my fuse is a lot shorter, as you may or may not already know. Said anonynerd would be able to poop out their neck by the time I'm done with them.

But, you know, if anonynutjob really is a teen, it makes me question just where the failure lies, with the parents or with the teens themselves? Or both? Because something ain't right there. And if they're not, well . . . epic fail. The intersludge has opened up the mecca of the ninth level of stupidity for morons that get their rocks off poking other people in the eye. Repeatedly. And they get to hide behind their anonyrag because the intershield allows them to. What fun.

To the anony-fucking-psycho-that-needs-to-up-her-meds, getting books from publishers isn't about fairness. It's about business. We're volunteers in a profit-fueled industry. As book bloggers we build our reputations based on our blogs - the quality of our reviews, mainly, and how many people we attract. The publishers don't give two bird poops about fairness in doling out ARCs. When only so many are printed, they need to get them into the hands of people whom they know (or at least hope they know) will provide a nominally favorable review and/or reach as many people as possible all while staying within their budget.

With The Story Siren, why the fucknut are you even questioning that? She gets hundreds of unique views a day, has hundreds of followers and hundreds of subscribers. She is a promotions goldmine for publishers because they can guarantee that the book they send her will end up on her site in one form or another and be seen by a shitload of people. And she earned that. The sheer amount of time she spends on her blog is astronomical. I know I could never do it. So don't think for a second that stuff's just handed over to bloggers like her or Steph at Reviewer X or Alea at Pop Culture Junkie or Sharon at Sharon Loves Books and Cats or Lenore at Presenting Lenore. They've all worked their asses off to make their blogs what they are. So what makes you, anonyfuck, think you're somehow more worthy of these books than these people? Sure, you're a noob. I still consider myself a noob. But did you honestly think that publishers would jump on every new book blogger than comes out simply to be fair? Get your head out of your ass.

I'm a mouth, if that isn't already obvious. It's probably a turn off to publishers simply because there's a level of fear there. Just what will I say about the books I review? If you read my reviews, you'll know I don't hold back. The Twilight series, anyone? How about Alphas? But despite that, I still get contacted to review books. I get target marketed and I get contacted because while my reviews can be scary, they're damn honest and to get a good review from me is like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and some publicists are willing to take that chance. But I didn't get here simply by existing. I worked for it. I read and read and read and review and review and review and research the industry and keep semi-up-to-date (although I think I'm consistently five minutes behind) and I'd like to think I have my finger somewhere close to the pulse of YA. I so hope so because it's what I write.

And don't get me started on the age thing. Please. 99% of the YA authors are not teens and the people feeding the flow of YA sales? Adults. So shut your pie hole. Maybe in a Utopian society YA would be by teens for teens but, alas, we live in an imperfect world where YA is written by those with enough distance from that age to be able to write objectively and read by those that want to relive those less stressful times of their lives. It's a fact. I've posted about it on here before. Yes, teens read YA. Duh. But we're the ones racking up the sales numbers. Neener.

So at the end of the day, anonynut, do some goddamn research about how book blogging actually works before jumping into the deep end without your swimmies and start slinging feces at the fan because you're *pout* not being treated fairly. Just another sign of your immaturity that you think things in life should be fair. Ha! You've pissed off a very connected part of the blogosphere here. In this world, we support each other, not give each other papercuts and then pour lemon juice in there. Yes, some people, like Kristi, will respond with grace. And then you get people like me . . . who won't. So just . . . fucking . . . try it. I am not kind to stupidity, moronism and immaturity. I've already done my stint of ignoring it. Now you're on my radar, punks. Baaaaaaaaaaaad place to be.

I can sound just as eloquent as a lawyer in such mind-numbing situations. Or I can sound like a biker bitch in a bar brawl. Guess which one you're going to get, anonymoron? Besides, you'd probably be so goddamn lost with my smart-speak that the words would be lost on you anyway so dipping to your level of non-lingual ability would probably be the best route in getting my point across.

And for the love of fucking hell. If you're going to send hate mail, utilize the spell checker, won't you? Proofread, maybe? You default to tool status sending hate mail to begin with but if you let it loose with sloppy spelling and grammar, you are just BEGGING for a public mocking.


I Heart Monster said...

nice :o) I just wanted to say that I am soooo glad that someone else will get my references to Miak... no one ever gets my Miak Troll jokes!! Yay.

Rachel said...

Hahaha, Let me just say that I love you. Your so straight up and I love people like that. Some people need to be told off. I have no idea why people do these things. I mean what is the point? She's just being mean and hateful and trying to cut down people. She needs to stop attacking people and spend more time on her blog, reading, and obviously her spelling. I hope my blog is as good as blogs like The Story Siren's and others one day. She obviously has a wonderful blog since she has a ton of followers. All these mean-bitchy-blogger-trolls need to go do something more useful with their time because all it ends up with is them getting mobbed by the rest of the blogger community. Oh and have the balls to say it out right and not hide behind an anonymous account.

Lenore said...

Keeping up a blog and posting something semi-meaningful is a ton of work. I get the feeling anon wants to reap the rewards without putting in the time. How is that fair?

Nicole B. said...

I approve this message. :)

ralfast said...

First Rule of the Interwebs:

Never Feed the Trolls

Second Rule of the Interwebs:

Carry a big sharp broadsword

Well done. No need to put up with this nonsense. Off with their heads I say!


Steph Su said...

LOLLLLLLLL. I swear, Donna, you're gonna get me fired from my job from busting up while reading this. I'm glad you've pointed out the market potentials of targeted blogs, as well as the fact that blogging takes a LOAD of time. So there.

The Story Siren said...

I second Nicole! This totally made my day! Thank you so very much! Truly means a lot!

Mara said...

You're totally right about that spell-checker thing. *snicker*

Donna said...

We all need to arm ourselves with anti-trollspirant!

Steph, be sure to keep plastic wrap around you at all times. It'll prevent you from having to explain to IT why your keyboard shorted out.

You're welcome, Kristi! I have to be eloquent at work. I like to use my blog to SCREAM!

And I Heart, Ernest P. Whorol at your service!

The Book Muncher said...

Very well put :)

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