Lips Touch Three Times by Laini Taylor

Published 2009.

A girl who's always been in the shadows finds herself pursued by the unbelievably attractive new boy at school, who may or may not be the death of her. Another girl grows up mute because of a curse placed on her by a vindictive spirit, and later must decide whether to utter her first words to the boy she loves and risk killing everyone who hears her if the curse is real. And a third girl discovers that the real reason for her transient life with her mother has to do with belonging - literally belonging - to another world entirely, full of dreaded creatures who can transform into animals, and whose queen keeps little girls as personal pets until they grow to childbearing age.

From a writer of unparalleled imagination and emotional insight, three stores about the deliciousness of wanting and waiting for that moment when lips touch. (book flap blurb)

This book had my jaw dropping. Now, I'm not a big romance person. It's not something I seek out. But the twisted parts behind these stories had me intrigued, plus all of the reviews I read were really good. Really, the elements have to be just right for me to pick up a book that, at first glance, was labeled as a romance.

But I don't see these stories as being romantic. At least not two out of the three. The first story, Goblin Fruit, had me stumbling an extra page because I wasn't expecting it to end so abruptly. When I realized there wasn't any more except the next unrelated story, I went nooooooooooooooo! The build-up was so sizzling and filled with teenage angst. You know what's going to happen and you don't. You expect one thing and you get another. You can feel the tension riling and rising and it hits the climax and you don't even get to come down from the high. It just ends. I wanted more.

Spicy Little Curses Such as These was actually my least favorite out of the three. Not that is wasn't good. I just didn't feel the same pull with this one as the other two. Once the boy comes into play, the rest of the story hinges on whether or not the girl will speak. Again, you expect one thing and get another. It's a retelling of the story of Orpheus but without the d'oh! ending. I think this one ended too nicely for me. That just shows how demented I am. I don't want love in a love story, dammit! They have to work for it! Not like they didn't. Not at all, actually. But, meh. It just didn't catch me like the other two.

Hatchling I loved because the world Taylor drew felt so real. I honestly thought she was drawing from some Middle Eastern mythology while I was reading it. I was wrong and for the most part, it came solely from her imagination, with some guidance, of course. That's what had me reading more than the kiss-themed part, which really wasn't a huge part of the story. Not for the main girl involved, anyway. It kept hopping around time-wise and it was kind of hard to keep track of where in the story I was reading but it settled out. But the mythical mythology was what really held my attention. It felt like something you could draw on, something people could believe in. I want to read it again just to soak in more of that world. Even the hideous creatures under the bridge and the nuances of the soulless shapeshifters had me feigning for more. I loved it.

The drawings at the beginning of each story were amazing as well. They give you just enough of the story to get a grasp of what's to come but not enough to spoil anything. The gray and red that were drawn in gave them a rustic, almost grungy type of feel but they complimented each story nicely.

This one's a must read for anyone that like writing. Really, even if you're not a romance fan you're going to like this. In all honesty, it's not about romance, or even love. It's about passion and fire and longing, something I think far more people feel than the other two. The writing sucks you in and holds onto you until the very end. And by then you're the one longing for a kiss. Let's just hope it turn out better for you than it did for these characters.

Sea Change by Aimee Friedman + Contest!

First published in 2009.

When Miranda Merchant, sixteen and levelheaded, escapes her lonely, hot summer in New York City, little does she know what awaits her. She steps off the ferry onto an island rife with legend, lore, and a past her logical mind can't make sense of. She isn't expecting to feel a connection to this unusual place, so filled with languorous charm and strange history.

And when she meets Leo, a mysterious local boy, she finds herself questioning everything she thought she knew about boys, friendships, reality . . . and love.

Is Leo hiding something? Or is he something she never could have imagined? (book flap blurb)

I got this book from Aimee at her signing at BEA last year mainly because Steph from Reviewer X dragged me into her signing line to get it. Otherwise I wouldn't have picked this one up. From the blurb, it doesn't really seem to be my thing, especially since it leans more towards romance. But since it was in my pile I wanted to give it a chance because I'm willing to step outside my safety zone and try new things.

Am I glad I did. I started reading and pretty much swallowed the book whole, to my surprise. I loved Miranda. Just like the blurb says, she's levelheaded and logical, but almost to a fault. It's very hard for her to see beyond logic and science and that's something I can definitely relate to. It takes her a lot to step out of her tunnel vision but, eventually, she does.

This book was about change but I think it went further beyond the fantastical part. It was about Miranda coming out of her shell and realizing who she is, in so many different ways. She's not just this hard-nosed scientific type. As much as she isn't willing to admit it, she's someone that could just maybe, quite possibly, almost believe in the fantastical.

The fantasy aspect in this book was subtle and more implied than in your face. Miranda got her information from a book of lore she found in her grandmother's house. She sees things out of the corners of her eyes that she can't really explain and which we never can an explanation for. I'm pretty sure that was the point. Not everything needs an explanation. Something it helps to just believe.

I liked the romance aspect because it wasn't overwhelming and it was much more realistic than what I've read in a lot of YA lately. I'm a firm believer in summer romances (because I can relate!) and it makes sense for Miranda making the connection that she does. Read the book and you'll find out what I'm talking about! The ending was especially great. It was hopeful without being sappy. It wasn't wholly a happy ending but a satisfying one.

The part I wasn't fond of was the whole rich kids versus townies triangle that was going on. I get that the richies from the mainland summered on the island but I felt that the 'suitable rich boy as a potential boyfriend who only turns out to be raised a prick' is a little tired. Surely not every single kid born into privilege isn't capable of seeing beyond their situation and is willing to break the mould. Needless to say, who Miranda chooses end is pretty obvious but that didn't keep me from silently cheering for her sticking it to the guy that didn't see her for her.

Overall, an excellent read and totally surprising for me. I love it when I decide to take a risk on something by stepping off my safety net and it pays off. I'm glad Steph dragged me into that line and I ended up with this book. It was a great read and now I'm going to seek out more of Aimee's work because her take on the teenage voice and situations were just awesome. Not all books have to be chock full of drama and overly obnoxious to be "fitting" to the YA market. Sea Changes is one of those examples and I'm so happy for its reasonableness.

PS - Did I mention that the cover is gorgeous too? I don't normally talk about covers because they're pretty irrelevant to how I feel about the book but this one just blows me away. It's absolutely beautiful!

Contest Time!!!

Fill out the form below for your chance to win my copy of Sea Changes by Aimee Friedman!

Lament by Maggie Stiefvater

First published in 2008.

Sixteen-year-old Deirdre Monaghan is a prodigiously gifted musician. She's about to find out she's also a cloverhand - one who can see fairies.

Unexpectedly, Deirdre finds herself infatuated with a mysterious boy named Luke who enters her ordinary life, seemingly out of thin air. But his interest in her might be something darker than summer romance. When a sinister faerie named Aodhan shows up with deadly orders from the Faerie Queen, it forces Dee right into the midst of Faerie. Caught in the crossfire with Deirdre is James, her wisecracking but loyal best friend.

Deirdre had been wishing her summer weren't so dull, but taking on a centuries-old Faerie Queen isn't exactly what she had in mind. (inside book blurb)

You know, I'm not too sure how I felt about this one. It's not that I didn't like it but I wasn't thrilled with it either.

I was really thrown for a loop at the beginning of the book. I felt like I walked into the middle of the scene and it took me a few chapters to acclimate to what was going on. Luke just shows up out of nowhere and Dee knows his name from a dream. Maybe I skimmed over it but I don't remember it being clear about whether she really knew that guy or not. Then when it settled in that she didn't, and they decided to go on stage a do a duet together, I kind of went WTF? Would that really happen?

Speaking of really happening, I kept questioning the language of the MC. And unfortunately I kept comparing her to Bella Swan. Not in personality, just in language. It just felt far too advanced for the age of the character. She just turned 16, didn't she? For a girl in public school, that's a mighty SAT vocabulary she's got going on.

But back to the plot. It seems to jolt into the story, with Luke suddenly appearing, and then everything that's going on seems sidelong, as if viewed from the corner of your eye. Yeah, there's Freckle Freak that makes an appearance every once in a while but the threat seems to be just out of sight, pushed away by Luke, until the very end when he's not there to help. I also don't like how the real antagonist didn't even make an appearance until the last couple of chapters and then poof! Out of the way. It was kind of anticlimactic for me. The whole story is this woman being talked up like some psychotic bitch on a power trip and oh my god she's the be-all-end-all of Faerie Queens and then she's so easily thwarted. Meh. Not satisfied.

And I'm sorry, but every time it came to Dee singing, I just couldn't help but think about ultimate Mary Sues. Dee isn't a Sue but if you've ever taken the Mary Sue litmus test, one of the questions is whether your MC has a good singing voice. I just couldn't stop that association. So that kind of tainted it a little bit for me. Plus I just think it's weird to have characters singing. In any book, it's always my least favorite part because most of the time, I can't help but think it contrived.

As for the relationship between Luke and Dee . . . meh. Dee does become pretty reliant on Luke to get her out of tough situations but when the time comes for her to step up to the plate, she's capable which is a nice thing to see. Instead of relying on someone else's help, she finds the strength within to remedy the situation. That's an awesome thing right there. When all seems lost, the MC makes it not lost with no one's help but her own.

And so help me, every time Luke called Dee pretty girl, I wanted to punch him in the throat. From the second he said it I felt it was so patronizing, especially within the context of some of his sentences. There were times where I thought it actually belittled Dee but she loved him calling her that. Whatever. To each her own and some junk.

Overall, it was compelling despite its faults. I read it pretty quickly and Stiefvater does have a lyrical way with her words even though I felt the language was a little far beyond the MC. It's not bad. Not something I would necessarily pick up again but a pretty good read. I'm going to read the sequel simply because I have it sitting in my pile but if I didn't have it, I probably wouldn't read on. I was content with just this one.

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

First published in 2009.

Enter a bizarre new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu who claims Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth and he's her long-lost fiance. He's arrogant, officious, embarrassingly overprotective, and, well, incredibly hot.

Armed with a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire's Guide to Dating, Health and Emotions, Jessica tries to imagine the transition from an average American teenager to a glam European vampire princess. But just when things start to heat up with Lucius, a devious cheerleader sets her sights on him.

Soon Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war - and save Lucius's soul from eternal damnation. All of which leaves her to wonder: Wouldn't life be easier if she could just fall for a nice mortal boy? (book flap blurb)

Go read. Nao. Nao. Why are you still reading? Go buy. Nao. Dammit, you're still here? Nao? I guess I better do the review then, huh?

Ok, so the first editorial review I read of this book was on bn.com and it's a Kirkus review. The first sentence states, "Populated with thoroughly flat characters, this vampire romance, despite charming moments, makes Twilight look like a feminist handbook." To which I go, O_o. Huh? To further discredit the review, the reviewer (who is anonymous) goes on to reference Lucius as Lucien and states a female vampire must be bitten at puberty in order to be turned into a vampire. Um, no. It's Lucius and it's 18. Here's a hint to all you reviewers out there: if you're going to give a review, especially a bad one, and want to maintain your credibility, you might want to get the book's facts straight. The review also puts the book for ages 12 to 14. Wha? So yeah, Jessica would so trample Stella Crow with her horse, Belle. I kept trying to find any kind of substantiating evidence that would somehow spit on feminism in this book and while it had it's moments, to say it made Twilight look like a feminist handbook is going so far out of the way to insult that you're going to need to reprogram your GPS to find your way back.

Jessica is a very logic-minded girl, almost to the point of being pig-headed. If it exists in her real world, then it's fine by her. When Lucius shows up, he kind of dashes her logic right out of the mythical window. And damn is he funny doing it! The short insights into Lucius's head with his letters are absolutely hilarious. Oh how he mocks lentils! He's so snotty and arrogant and he just doesn't quite know what to do with himself now that he finds himself on a vegan farm. Other than protect Jessica from high school assholes. Which she abhors him doing and is sincere about it too.

It gets to a point where it's maddeningly frustrating for Jessica not to admit to herself what's going on until she finally starts to and then everything starts to slip away. There definitely is a "too late" moment going on that only drove me further and faster to keep reading to see what the resolution would be. I think the dynamic that was built up, though, between Jessica, Lucius and Faith, has happened to all of us at one point or another. Someone pursues us, we kind of go "eh" although there could be potential but when we finally get to coming around, that interest has moved on and we're left going, "um, hello?" It's infuriating to read it happen, especially who it's happening with.

Yes, there are some similarities to Twilight. What I saw? The couple of times that Jessica claims she loves Lucius deeply and doesn't want to live with the pain of losing him. Yeah, that's also a Romeo and Juliet thing too, not to mention a slew of other romance reads but considering Twilight's popularity, and the book's vampire/human romance, the comparison was bound to be made. But that's pretty much where the similarities stop. Hate to break it to the Twihards but Stephenie Meyer didn't invent the star cross'd vampire lovers. Hard pill to swallow, I know, but a pill nonetheless.

Where Bella is a weak, simpering little turd that excelled at nothing, didn't have a self of her own and could only stand on her own two feet with the support of Edward, Jessica was very much her own person with her own ideals, her own thoughts and lo! We were in her head the whole time and and lo! Minimal complaining! And it wasn't anywhere near insufferable! She also didn't comment on how hot Lucius was every freaking nanosecond. Yay! Jessica had her own life, was capable of functioning on her own, had goals. Did that all kind of crumble? To an extent, yeah. Here she thought she was this normal girl until this arrogant schmuck guy shows up and tells her she's a vampire princess that's destined to marry him in order to end a centuries-long vampire war. After getting over the absolute insanity of that and realizing it's real, how would your life shape after that? Especially if you started to fall in love with said cranky Romanian guy? Love does funny things to your head but she didn't push anyone away. People pushed her away because of the rumors that were spread about her. She didn't want to be alone. She was miserable to be alone. She wanted Mindy and Jake back in her life but they wouldn't go near her because of ignorance. And then there's Lucius. To say the shit hit the fan towards the end of this book is an understatement. That senior year really did suck. Badly.

The only injustice I saw in this book was the title. It's probably one of the most unfitting titles I've ever seen in a book. And the emphasis on the vampire dating guide. It was mentioned a handful of times, most of them in passing. It certainly wasn't central to the book but from all the blurbs, you'd think it was. Jessica's Guide to Staking Senior Year would have been a better, and more pertinent, title. I'm not really sure what the aim was there but it just doesn't fit with the story.

All in all, an absolutely amazing book and I'm so glad I went nutball over it when I saw the review on Publisher's Weekly back in January. Smart I was to listen to my gut! Fantaskey has an amazing knack for being able to propel the reader from one end of the book to the other in a compelling, intricate and well-written story. This is what a turmoil-ridden teen vampire romance should read like. There's depth, individuality and realism all mixed into this fantasy world. Jessica is real. Her reactions are believable. Her actions are believable and her emotions can be felt through the pages. I laughed out loud, my eyes watered and I just didn't want it to end.

But it did. Rather abruptly. Please tell me there's going to be a sequel. Beth? A little help?

Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

First published in 2007.

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which? (book flap blurb)

At this point I’m finding it hard to not be redundant in my reviews of this series. Everything that I’ve said regarding characters and personalities and plot all stand except everything’s magnified, amplified, blown up and whatever other synonym you want to use.

Bella is perpetually helpless, perpetually under attack and perpetually self-deprecating. Edward is perpetually helpful, perpetually there to save the day and perpetually reassuring. It must be all those years of vampiric patience. I wonder how many centuries it’ll take for the “you’re better than me” putz Bella is constantly spewing out to wear thin. Will love survive such endless, backwards-hair-rubbing cycles? I’m hard-pressed to think she’ll get over it any time soon. That is unless she becomes “OMG beautiful!” once she becomes a vampire like she hopes to. Why? So she can stand next to Edward and feel like she belongs there. Three f*^$^%( books of this so far. He’s stuck around this long but obviously that’s not enough. Neither is the drippy goo love. I think sacrificial goats are in order for Edward to start proving himself since she’s obviously not getting it.

And now Jacob is persistently and stalkerly vying for Bella’s attention. He even comes thisclose to a werewolf rapist. Any guy that confuses the “get the hell away from me” face and subsequent actions for “OMG ravage me you big burly wolf” needs to be kept as far away from the opposite sex as humanly (har) possible. The kicker, when Charlie realizes that Bella broke her hand when punching Jacob for forcing the kiss, he laughs. Yeah, laughs and starts making fun of her. I don’t think Jacob realizes that if that were me, losing his lips would be at the lightest end of the spectrum for what would be coming to him. What father, in his right mind, would laugh and take sides with the forceful schmuck that tried to manhandle his daughter? Oh sure, he comes back over the fact how many chapters later, “but seriously, honey” she shouldn’t allow that. Oh bite me. My dad would have torn him apart with his bare hands for even considering the thought let alone for me breaking my hand trying to get away from him. Are you serious? I so hope he doesn’t own a “#1 Dad” mug. If he does, someone should break it.

I don’t know what’s worse: that or Carlisle actually recommending to Edward that they dope Bella with morphine so they can have sex without her being in pain. Seriously? He damn near recommends Edward date-rape her? Really? And girls are swooning? O_o

I don’t get it. I really don’t. These books aren’t deep enough to “read deeply” into. All this is right there on the surface but OMG glittery Edward takes precedence, apparently. Befuddled would be a good adjective for me right now. So would spork. Lots and lot of spork. Or for those not familiar with the newer term, the older one would be MST3000 or Mystery Science Theater 3000. For now I have things like this. I couldn’t find the original on the Head Trip site. But there’s this as well even though I haven’t read the last book yet. Still giggles-worthy.

I will say one thing good about this book - Bella finally mentions something she likes about Edward other than his looks. It was something along the lines of 'he's a nice guy.' It was only the one time but it's there . . . and right back to "I love him because he's beautiful" again. So he loves her because she smells like heroin and she loves him because he's hard as a rock (O_o) and is the most gorgeous thing on the planet. True love, huh? I think I can find something deeper on Rock of Love.

I really don't think it's surprising that I've waited this long to finish the series. I don't know about you but uterus-noshing isn't too high up on my things to read. It'll get read, when I get around to it. For now the spine is staring at me like a big, looming chess piece of doom. Check.

*headdesk*

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

First published in 2006.

I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my hear racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect - not healed, but as if there had never been a wound in the first place. (book back blurb)

Everything that I’ve said previously about these characters and their personalities still stands. The most compelling characters are those that are tucked in the background, somewhere behind Bella and Edward’s single dimensions. Only now we get to see more of Jacob Black whose mood swings and grumpy tantrums (which would be quite normal in a 16 year old boy) are explained away by the fact that he turns into a werewolf. See, I like the whole werewolf/chick getting her period thing of the movie Ginger Snaps. The parallel made there was awesome and eerily accurate. The teenage boy thing, though, it just seems a little too easy. Perhaps because it was done with little to no oomph and the parallel was made to interact with family history instead of hormone changes. The latter might have been purely coincidental.

Aside from the fact that Bella only defines herself by Edward, the way she attempts to get over him is by falling into the arms of yet another boy. Because that’s healthy. Because she’s been on the verge of a catatonic depression for months so the only way to get herself out of it is to distract herself by getting into an equally unhealthy rebound relationship with someone else. Someone needs a psychiatrist.

And on top of all of that, Bella actually becomes delusional and risks her life in order to trigger these delusions. It’s the only way to hear Edward’s voice. It’s always good to “cheat” on your werewolf pseudo-boyfriend with the boy that now exists only in your head. Again, healthy.

Meyer is quick to defend Bella and claim that none of this is misogynistic, that she really is a strong character. This is what she has to say, from her website–

(Side note: there are those who think Bella is a wuss. There are those who think my stories are misogynistic—the damsel in distress must be rescued by strong hero.

To the first accusation, I can only say that we all handle grief in our own way. Bella’s way is no less valid than any other to my mind. Detractors of her reaction don’t always take into account that I’m talking about true love here, rather than high school infatuation.

I emphatically reject the second accusation. I am all about girl power—look at Alice and Jane if you doubt that. I am not anti-female, I am anti-human. I wrote this story from the perspective of a female human because that came most naturally, as you might imagine. But if the narrator had been a male human, it would not have changed the events. When a human being is totally surrounded by creatures with supernatural strength, speed, senses, and various other uncanny powers, he or she is not going to be able to hold his or her own. Sorry. That’s just the way it is. We can’t all be slayers. Bella does pretty well I think, all things considered. She saves Edward, after all. Side note/rant over. Back to the story.)

Ok, so this is “true love” instead of a high school infatuation. Can the two not be synonymous? Are these stories not one and the same? To say Bella isn’t infatuated with Edward is a bit of a stretch on the best of days.

Do I think Bella is a wuss? No, I just don’t think she’s much of a character. She doesn’t flinch at running off to Italy to save Edward. A wuss wouldn’t have done that. Unfortunately, the definition of Bella is Edward so she was only saving herself. There isn’t a line between the two characters. They are one and the same so it would only be natural for one to save the other if that’s how they define each other. Really, is it so much to try and save yourself?

I think where Meyer misses the point on people objecting to Bella is that very definition of “true love.” In the Twilight world, to truly love another is to completely forfeit your own self. You as an individual no longer exist and are thus only defined by your life mate. I think having the story from Bella’s point of view only magnifies the misogynistic tendencies of the stories because we have a girl whose self-worth is rooted in her boyfriend. We see her not giving a damn about anything else except Edward. And when she isn’t with him, she’s longing for him. Bella is not Bella without Edward. You can say you’re for girl power all you want but when you have a girl whose life revolves around a boy and exists only for him (and occasionally her parents), you’re going to be hard pressed to prove otherwise. I have no doubt it’s entirely possible to truly and fully love someone without forfeiting your individuality and sense of self. This book obviously doesn’t show that.

When Edward leaves, a hole is torn in Bella’s chest. Oh how often she goes back to that image. It’s not occupied and filled again by close friends or family but by yet another boy whom she tries so hard to convince herself is just a friend but, even towards the end of the book, knows she’s not fooling herself. According to Bella, the only way to fill one hole torn in her psyche by a boy is to fill it with another. Isn’t that slightly oxymoronic to the whole girl power message? I understand the whole “we grieve differently” mantra but showcasing this very notion of defining yourself by the boy you date is not something young girls should be reading about.

Another spot where Meyer misses the boat in her own defense was the human actions among inhuman beings. I don’t question that. When you’re around things that can crush your head like a piece of Styrofoam, I have no doubt the intimidation level would be pretty high. And no, not all characters can be slayers. Not everyone is Buffy. But at least Buffy, despite everything else, had a sense of who she was. Bella does not. Meyer is thinking of only extremes in this respect. Bella doesn’t have to be a slayer but if she had a mind of her own, I’m sure her ability to hold her own would have been a little stronger. Unfortunately she no longer sees herself as a person but as Bedward. Bella’s reliance on outside sources for salvation makes her the chick that Buffy would be constantly saving and getting tired of. She doesn’t take responsibility for herself. If she can’t do that, of course she’s not going to be able to stand up to anything. It also helps to be a whole person without the aid of the opposite sex to complete you as well.

Remember, Xander and Willow and Giles were not slayers. They were quite human and quite capable of handling situations on their own. Of course Buffy was able to do it better but they had enough sense of self to not be wholly dependent on her. Even Pike from the original Buffy movie took it upon himself to throw a few stakes even though he knew he was way over his head. He didn’t depend on Buffy to get him out of trouble and while Buffy didn’t require his help and tried to talk him out of helping, she would allow it nonetheless.

I guess what it all really boils down to is the whole dependency issue and how a person defines themselves. I take serious issue with girls that insist on defining themselves according to the guys they’re dating and I’ll be hard-pressed to be convinced it’s true love. Maybe that’s why I’m having such a hard time comprehending all this they live for each other and thus define each other stuff in the books. Have I loved? I am human. Yes, I have, quite deeply and quite painfully and while, with hindsight, I may have gotten in too deep at times, I didn’t lose the sense of who I was. It was always me with a boyfriend, not just a portion of myself while the rest of “me” was at work. I know the concept of “other half” and “better half” and all of that but it does really involve giving up who you are in order to remold the definition of you?

To be fair, I am a very independent person and weakness, especially in the self worth and self recognition departments, frustrates me because you don’t need to have another person in your life to complete the definition of you. They can complete your life, they can fill in a piece of your soul that was missing but they aren’t the essence of your being, the definition of your existence. If I had to interact with Bella, I’d have multiple ulcers.

Meyer makes it OK to love fully and shunt out everyone around you because all you need is love. Bella ostracizing her friends when Edward is around and then even further when he leaves is brushed off because they’re “not the greatest people” to be friends with. They leave a bit to be desired in the personality department. With that I won’t argue but it doesn’t make it right and it certainly doesn’t make it healthy.

Love, love until your heart explodes but keep some semblance of a sense of self. It definitely won’t hurt.

This is a sad story and not in the star-cross’d lovers category. It’s sad in that we have a teenage girl whose only source of existence is her boyfriend. The whole of her self worth is buried in her boyfriend. The reason for her existence is her boyfriend. Nothing else matters except the moments spent together. Perhaps I’m made of stone and I should see the love in that relationship. When I’m reading, I do. But when it sinks in it depresses me. There are a lot of young, impressionable girls reading these books and it makes me sad to think what they’re going to take away from this. I’d like to say they’ll get that true love really does exist but I’m afraid the magnification they’re going to give it, the romantic levels they’re going to take it to are going to surpass any sense of reality that they should have. It’s OK to put your head in the clouds so long as your feet are on the ground. I can only hope.

And yes, I’m still reading them. I don’t read for Edward and Bella. I read for Alice and Ro and Carlisle and the Volturi. Pretty much everything else except Edward and Bella and now Jacob Black. This book, though, was my least favorite. Take some Prozac already, Bella.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

First published in 2005.

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. (book cover blurb)

Initially when I picked this book up off of a table in Barnes and Noble, I read that blurb and put the book right back down. Not interested. I only finally picked it up to read because my mom was borrowing it from my cousin and it was in the house. Why not? I wanted to see what all the hype was about. I plowed through it in a matter of days. Nice to know I can still read at warp speed. Granted it helped that the book was as dense as air.

This is one of the most thoroughly superficial books I’ve ever read. Is Twilight written as good as Harry Potter, since people are so inclined to make that comparison? I don’t think so. HP had depth right from the beginning. The world, both real and magical, were much more solid and right from the beginning the characters were deeper than puddles. I automatically sympathized with Harry because he was treated so horribly by the very people that were his family and it was done for no other reason than because he was the son of Petunia’s sister.

Twilight? Bella’s mooing about moving to Forks from Arizona and I don’t find out why she actually imposed the move on herself until, is it the second or third chapter, when Edward asks her why she moved. I was six pages in and calling my mom who’d already read it, making her explain to me why she was forcing this move on herself when she obviously didn’t want to make it. It bothered me that much.

Bella has a tendency to pity herself a lot, she doesn’t have much by the way of self-esteem and I swear if I read that she’s clumsy one more time I’m going to scream. She also has a tendency of characterizing people by their looks, especially Edward. Is everyone else that lacking in personality that it’s the only way to recognize people?

Her friends are as one dimensional as the broad side of a piece of paper. Their problems and bickering arguments are as petty, boring, asinine and overdone as fishing for belly button lint. And holy crap is Bella just one of the weakest characters you’ve ever met? Can she do nothing for herself except cook? If she’s not crying, pining over Edward or noting how clumsy she is, she’s being rescued by any number of phallus-swinging humans fawning after her. And it’s amazing how how plain she seems to be yet she has all those guys flocking to her. Are people in Forks inbred or something?

And then there’s Edward whose, at this point, only redeeming quality is his gorgeousness. He’s hot, beautiful and any other number of synonymous adjectives you can come up with. Aside from that, he’s commanding with Bella, ordering her around when he’s not sneering at her or moving vehicles out of her way or laughing at her. Oh yes! Where can I get twelve just like him? Is there a store? He’s an ass and yet she just can’t get enough of his looks. It seems to be the only thing she’s attracted to since it’s the only thing she mentions when he’s not around her (and even when he is). Maybe if Bella actually sat and thought about how he was treating her, you know, using her head for something other than air storage, she’d see just how he’s freakin’ treating her! But I guess looks overpower all. Good message to send.

By the end of the book both Edward and Bella are as one dimensional as they can be as characters, and I think that’s giving them too much credit. I didn’t care about them in the slightest. I wanted more information on Alice, who had no idea what her human life was like until she watched a short video on Bella’s beating. Or Jasper who’s the newest member of their group and has the hardest time controlling his hunger. There’s conflict, there’s unknown, there’s at least a second wall to the makeshift cube. Carlisle, Rosalie and her obvious conflict, Alice and Jasper, were far more interesting than Edward and Bella ever hoped to be.

I’ll give Meyer credit in giving the vampires something new to pine over and some new characteristics. I liked the skin in the sunlight idea even though it was a little too floofy for me. The whole “vegetarian” (in a fish-eating sort of way) concept, while isn’t new, is front and center so points for that even though I’m much more interested in drawing the beast out of Edward instead of watching him pine his way through 3 more books. But that’s just me.

The writing itself was nothing to write home about. Very mediocre and elementary, words in their simplest forms to portray characters in their simplest sketches.

What really bothered me about this book was the overwhelming lack of individuality and identity that Bella adopted once Edward was in her life. It’s downright scary, not romantic, to watch even a fictional teenager profess her undying and eternal love for a boy and claim that she only lives for him. Every moment away from him is pure agony. It takes what I’m sure many teenage girls feel when they think they’re in love (I know I was in that group a few times), exaggerates it and makes it ok. It’s scarily unhealthy to be that engrossed when you’re an adult, letting the other aspects of your life fall by the wayside to be replaced by a love interest but to watch a teenager do it, who's much more impressionable, is terrifying. The last thing any girl of any age should do is define herself by the boy or man she’s dating.

Yes, I understand this is a romance. Obviously. But really, is it impossible to have a romance, and a good one, where the female has a sense of self?

And Bella is just downright stupid. Edward obviously knows what he’s talking about. He’s been alive for 100 years. He’d be dead already if he were walking around with his head up his butt. Bella doesn’t listen to a damn thing he tells her, convinces herself of the exact opposite, doesn’t think things through clearly, is entirely irrational in the extreme and is constantly sacrificing herself for “his good” when he’s ready to put his head (and possibly hers) through a wall constantly telling her the contrary. I feel frustrated for him. I wanted to put my hand through the pages and backhand the twit for actually believing that the tracker had her mother, for only one example. Duh.

Yet, despite all of this, I couldn’t stop reading. I finished the book, including the preface and first chapter of New Moon in a couple of days. I still haven’t figured out what was compelling me to keep reading. Maybe it was hope that Bella adopted a sense of self although I highly doubt that will ever happen, even in the final book. Maybe it was purely for the cheese factor that I know is coming up. I have no idea but I've cranked through them and have one more to go (that I'm procrastinating on).

Maybe I see it as one disastrous train wreck and I just can’t take my eyes away from it. That might work.

I have to say, the movie is better if for the only reason being that we're no longer constantly in Bella's head. No more insufferable inner-monologue. So much more tolerable although Rob Pattinson's dead wombat hair was pretty distracting.