A Blue So Dark by Holly Schindler + Contest!

Published May 8th, 2010.

Mom knew that the mermaids - hand-carved from driftwood by the owner of a souvenir shop - were all I wanted to take home from Florida. As she bought them, she looked down at me, her eyes not just glittering but snapping with fire like two Fourth of July sparklers. She ran her fingers down the length of my nose, almost like you'd stroke a favorite pet, and said to the salesman, "We're just alike, me and Aura."

And you know, back then, the idea of that didn't scare the absolute hell out of me. (book back blurb)

For once, a book about teenagers with real problems. That's not really to undermine the issues that teenagers have. At that age, when you don't have any other worries, what your reputation is, who you're dating, who you're friends with, etc. is everything. But this is real. This is the real that makes all of that other stuff trivial shoe dirt. On the one hand you have a girl that's been saddled with being the sole caregiver to a schizophrenic mother and on the other, you have her friend that could go on the Teen Mom show, complete with deadbeat dad and the 'I know it all and my parents know nothing' attitude.

I was sucked into the story immediately. Aura just has a great voice; so much more mature than a lot of the other stories I read and for good reason. If you had to take care of a mentally ill parent all by yourself, you'd age really quickly too. But while I believed the voice as a whole, I didn't necessarily believe all of the references she made. Like equating her grandmother to Imelda Marcos. I'd like to meet a fifteen-year-old that even knows who Imelda Marcos is let alone how to use her person correctly in a reference joke. But those little things aside, Aura held her own throughout. You see just how strong and solid of a character she is by how she handles everything going on around her. I'm sure a lot of others would have ceased to even function in her situation but Aura carried on strong. She did what she could to protect her mother, who was number one to her even above herself.

But with that being said, it's also a horribly sad situation. You have the deadbeat dad that's perfectly content with stepping out of the situation and saving himself, leaving his teenage daughter to handle the problem that's no longer his because he signed on the dotted line making you empathize with Aura even more. Unfortunately, that really is an all too common situation, sad as it is to say. And the school not stepping in to help out? Unless you have outstanding teachers that actually want to help out their students (or super important students), the public school system is not there to function in that manner. Again, another sad thing to say, but it is true. When your bottom line is to have the kids functioning at a high enough level to bring in government funding, if one slips through the cracks, well, it probably would have been one that brought down the curve anyway. And if there aren't parents there to rally for that child, they're going to fade away. So while I think these elements help to isolate Aura even more and force her to function more independently (thus making them look a little contrived), they're not really out of the ordinary situations and they just made the situation all the more real.

I could have lived without Aura's love interest. I just felt like he was a jerk from the beginning. "Paint my board." No please, not even asking. Just do it. Why haven't you done it yet? Where's my board? I just wanted her to say, "dude, I burned it in the pit in the backyard." Granted he didn't know Aura's situation but even mutually exclusive from that, I thought he was a jerk and not worth the notice Aura was giving him.

I even really liked Janny for the basketcase that she was. New moms in desirable situations have a hard time adjusting and here you have a new mom that's barely 16, just emancipated from her parents and without the sperm donor helping out. As much as I wanted to slap her from backing away from Aura when she needed her (and as much as I didn't think Aura leaning on Janny earlier in life was touched upon like it should have been), I didn't hate her for it. She had enough issues on her plate and she couldn't fit Aura's on there anymore either. I get that. Still, I would have liked to have seen Janny be the lean-to earlier in life (as opposed to just a stronger personality) for Aura in order for the situation to be a little more balanced. While I did understand Janny's situation, without that weight behind it, it looked like she was just plugging her ears, demanding that Aura understand her situation but not offering the same understanding in return. It could have been the way I read it and just missed it. But it looked unbalanced to me.

This book is as real as real can get. It's the effects of a mental illness not on the sick individual but on the family around them. When one spoke is broken, it gets harder and harder for the rest to pick up the slack and that's seen here with Aura and her mom. There is only one path to crazy for Aura and it's through creativity so she tries to stifle it as much as she can, in herself and her mom when she gets too bad. Stamp out the crazy and you can stamp out the sickness, keep it from coming back to haunt. At times it's painful to read but it's something that should be read. I'm sure there are more kids going through something like this than the numbers care to admit and like Aura, they're suffering with it. They're beating themselves up over their decisions when they shouldn't even be making decisions like that in the first place. It's sad but Aura's strength is revitalizing. Throughout the entire story it's a beacon of hope. You can see she knows what the right thing to do is. The real right thing to do. It just takes her a while to actually get there.

This is one of those stand-out books in the pile that is YA. There's nothing paranormal about it. There's no love triangle. Actually there's barely any love at all and what love is there is shredded, stressed to its breaking point. But there's perseverance and strength and you won't be able to help but root for Aura from beginning to end. You want everything to work out okay for her. You're desperate for it. It just has to. And that'll keep you turning the pages until the end.

Contest Time!!!

Want my copy? Then just fill out the form below for your chance to win. Open to US residents 13 years of age and older only. One entry per person per email address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Contest ends January 17th at midnight, EST.

This Gorgeous Game by Donna Freitas + Contest

Published June 2010.

Seventeen-year-old Olivia Peters is over the moon when her literary idol, the celebrated novelist and much-adored local priest Mark D. Brendan, agrees to act as her personal mentor. But when Father Mark's enthusiasm for Olivia's writing develops into something more, Olivia's emotions quickly shift from wonder to confusion to despair. Exactly what game is Father Mark playing, and how on earth can Olivia get out of it? (book back blurb)

It starts off innocent enough. Kind words. Little notes. But then it morphs. You don't see the shift at first because it's subtle. And really, it's not too much different than it was before. But then the hand comes down and you're left with a ruffled brow and a question mark over your head. The next thing you know, you're desperate to get out of the situation but you're in so deep, you don't know how.

As someone that's been in a very similar situation to Olivia, I could automatically sympathize with her. Even if I hadn't been, Olivia is a very commanding character. She's very likable, very honest. Really, it's hard not to like her. If you're a writer, you can share in her enthusiasm when she wins a coveted writing prize plus a chance to learn from a literary master. Who wouldn't love that? But it's when that power figure starts to abuse his power that things start to get ugly.

Olivia was such a pretty girl but the things Father Mark did to her (he never touched her inappropriately, in a sexual manner, mind) caused her to spiral. Her worry and her distress at the situation she was in started to show on her face. When a person you love starts to downward spiral like that, it's hard not to notice. I could actually see her at the end of the book; her face sallow, her hair lackluster, her eyes red and puffy from crying. I wanted to tell her I understood, that everything would turn out okay.

Freitas' writing just sucked me right in (obviously). She got it right. The reactions of the power player, the reactions of Olivia, they all hit home. They all rang true. I felt every twinge, every bit of happiness, every threat of fear. I could feel it in my bones. Trust me, it's a shitty feeling. But I almost wish Freitas would have done the power play with a younger man just so we could have another Albatross, another rejection of the stalker = love notion that's so dominant in YA right now. But it was amazing as is.

Father Mark had something of Olivia's that he knew he could manipulate to make his own. She's young, naive, afraid of losing it all. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to shout at the book, "drop him! Your writing life won't end! He's lying!" But she had to see it on her own. It still didn't suck any less to watch someone, even someone fictional, go through something like that. But at least she had the support structure around her to help her through it, once she brought them in, anyway.

Making Father Mark the community pillar didn't help Olivia either. It made her wanting to turn him in even harder. Who would believe her? He, a nationally recognized novelist and priest, over some pretty little blonde kid? The ending wasn't a perfect wrap-up either. A switch wasn't flicked that made everything all better. It was a slow process that we just start to see unfold as the final pages pass by. And I liked that. In a situation like this, it's not all cookie cutter. It's hard and it's painful and it's going to take a long time to heal. I'm glad Freitas didn't gloss over that fact.

You will not want to put this book down once you pick it up. You will want to soak in every single word, cheer with Olivia, cry with Olivia, scream at her, help her. So go ahead. Do it. You won't regret it. It's a hard topic but one that needs to be discussed and Freitas does an excellent job of that.

Contest Time!!!

Want my ARC? Just fill out the form below for your chance to win. Open to US residents 13 years of age and older only. One entry per person per email address. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Contest ends December 9th at midnight, EST.

The Clearing by Heather Davis

Published April 12, 2010.

Amy is drawn to the misty, mysterious clearing behind her Aunt Mae’s place because it looks like the perfect place to hide from life. A place to block out the pain of her last relationship, to avoid the kids in her new town, to stop dwelling on what her future holds after high school. Then, she meets a boy lurking in the mist—Henry. Henry is different from any other guy Amy has ever known. And after several meetings in the clearing, she’s starting to fall for him. But Amy is stunned when she finds out just how different Henry really is. Because on his side of the clearing, it’s still 1944. By some miracle, Henry and his family are stuck in the past, staving off the tragedy that will strike them in the future. Amy’s crossing over to Henry’s side brings him more happiness than he’s ever known—but her presence also threatens to destroy his safe existence. (from netgalley.com)

I'm a little late to the game getting to this one but better late than never, without a doubt. Oh. My. God. What a great book.

Amy is standoffish, not trusting of anyone and rightly so. But because of this attitude she adopts in order to protect herself, she doesn't let anyone in and she doesn't let them know why. Until Henry. Henry allows her to open up. He doesn't put on a show. He doesn't make her promises. He's as come-as-you-are as you can get and Amy is wholly attracted to that.

I'm not a romance person by any means. I like the characters I read to suffer, as sadistic as that is. I want them to earn the love they're seeking. I don't want it to be easy. And man did Amy earn Henry's love. I don't mean by being a performing chimp at an organ grinder for him. She just went through crap and a half before getting to him and it's about damn time she found someone to love that loves her back just for being her. Her ex is a dick. Her former friends are dicks. She's earned Henry and everything he has to offer. And he has so much to offer her, so much he can provide for her and ultimately he gives it to her. He just can't give himself to her and that, my friends, had me in tears.

I felt for what Amy went through, her character was totally believable. And when she stood up to her ex, when she told him to FOAD that final time, I was cheering for her. Yes! A protagonist that stands up to the dick! That won't let him push her around or hurt her anymore! While she went into a push and pull with Henry, she ultimately accepts what he is to her and, in the end, that's okay. It has to be. It's not like she has a choice.

I just can't say enough wonderful things about this story without sounding like some drooling fangirl. It's a love story that'll have you screaming at the end of it because it's a happily ever after but not in the way you think it's going to be. The past has finally been righted and that's all the happy there needs to be, for everyone.

I couldn't help but wonder why no one had gone through the mist before. I know it has some physical effects on whoever walks into it so maybe that would be enough of a deterrent. Plus there were some haunting stories surrounding the property, so add those two elements together and it might be enough to keep the superstitious at bay. But it still made me wonder.

At the end of the day, Amy's a strong character that deserves everything she gets in this story. Davis isn't afraid to try her even more than she's already been tried, but she just ends up coming out the other end even stronger than when she went in. Amy learns not everyone she meets is a total douche. Real, genuine love is possible. It's okay to be happy. But I warn you all, you may cry at the end. And damn it all if I wasn't at work reading this. Thankfully I was able to keep my head down long enough to dry my mascara.

Go Ask Alice by "Anonymous"

First published 1971.

You can't ask Alice anything anymore.

But you can do something - read her diary. Strong, painfully honest, nakedly candid. The actual story of a desperate girl on drugs and on the run who almost made it. (book back blurb)

What we have here is a sorry excuse for a teen voice. Even if I didn't know who the real author was behind this book, I think it's pretty obvious that the hand is forced and exceptionally preachy.

I understand that there's a forty year gap in the lingo but even with that, the voice is contrived and inauthentic. It reads like an adult trying to sound like a teen but still sounding like an adult with a message. It was annoying and made it very difficult to read. The insistence of the girl getting off drugs alone was just absurd to read. It made the girl's words and actions mismatch and the she was overall hard to follow because of that.

Not to mention she was one whiny little bitch. God, she wasn't even likable as a character. I didn't feel a damn thing for her when she spiraled or got locked up. She was a hard character to care for. She didn't solve any problems on her own; she created major problems and when things got too rough, she constantly ran home for help. I guess that could be played into the adult author trying to write a teen without any real understanding of them. She was too much a child that wanted to be bailed out and she was way too dumb when it was convenient to the plot.

The epilogue was awesome. She's dead. We don't know how she died. You just need to know she's dead from drugs. Drugs. Bad drugs. Never mind just before the epilogue she was entirely turned around and totally clean except for one of her enemies slipping her something. But she just dropped dead anyway. Because drugs are bad. Don't do them.

Give me a break. What a preachy, unrealistic book. Yeah, I can see why parents might get up in arms about the drug and sex references but my biggest concern is how anyone could have thought this was real. I guess if you're a parent and have an idea of how a teenager sounds (as opposed to how they really sound), you'd buy into it but otherwise? I'd sooner believe the earth rotated backwards.

It was good to read since it's such a commented-on book but at the end of the day, it's really ridiculous. I couldn't take the message seriously because the execution was just laughable. Go read some Ellen Hopkins if you're looking for a gritty teen drug tale. Hers will rip your heart out twelve times over. This one's just good for a laugh.

ttyl by Lauren Myracle

First published 2004.

On the first day of tenth grade, best friends Maddie (mad maddie), Angela (SnowAngel), and Zoe (zoegirl) vow not to let school stupidness get them down . . . or split them apart. But as the weeks pass and the instant messages accumulate, it's clear that tenth grade will be a roller coaster ride of boy temptation, math torture, donut emergencies, and Queen Bee encounters. Then a jerky boy sends peppy Angela into the dumps, tough Maddie makes a mistake that has the whole school talking, and good girl Zoe gets in over her head with a flirty teacher. Will the winsome threesome make it through the year? (book back blurb)

I bought ttyl from a library book sale simply because it was on a banned books list and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

While I liked the execution of the story (complete IM chats), I found the overall plot kind of bland. It succeeded in that I felt like I was reading the chat transcripts of a bunch of real life teens but I think it's because of that that I was just bored with it. It came complete with its own high school drama and even though I only had the points of view of these three girls, I still felt the anger, the love, the awkwardness and everything else they were feeling. I felt like I was eavesdropping in on their conversations. I just didn't find it particularly interesting. Compelling enough but I'm not rarin' to read ttfn or anything.

In terms of banned bookage, of course it's rather insipid. There was a mention of female ejaculation. For shame! A natural bodily function! What's next, farts? And then there was a brother's girlfriend's unshaven muffin popping out of a bikini. That one had me gagging. Respect your fellow man, lady! And you had your token sex talks and swear but no teenage conversation would be complete without those things. An awkward and inappropriate student/teacher relationship was even thrown in too. Apparently the text speak is an issue but I'm not sure how that's even ban-worthy. OMG they're spelling laugh like laff! The horror! When the challengers can speak, write and spell in proper English, then I'll give them some leeway. Until then, they can shut their holes.

I don't see anything ban-worthy in this book. If parents are up in arms about female ejaculation, what's next? Denying their daughters information on their periods? Let's not stifle a teen's need to ask questions. Parents are supposed to be there to answer them, not keep them in the dark. They're failing as parents if they keep their kids ignorant.

Songs for a Teenage Nomad by Kim Culbertson + Contest!

Pub date - September 2010.

After living in twelve places in eight years, Calle Smith finds herself in Andreas Bay, California, at the start of ninth grade. Another new home, another new school . . . Calle knows better than to put down roots. Her song journal keeps her moving to her own soundtrack, bouncing through a world best kept at a distance.

Yet before she knows it, friends creep in - as does an unlikely boy with a secret. Calle is torn over what may be her first chance at love. With all that she's hiding, and all that she wants, can she find something lasting beyond music? And will she ever discover why she and her mother have been running in the first place? (book back blurb)

Immediately I was sucked into Calle's head, her music, her story and her voice. You have this girl forced into a nomadic existence seemingly because her mother's a flake and moves around to start new lives after the old boyfriends ditch her. Even after the whys come to the surface, I can only feel for Calle. Yeah, I get it. Her mother did what she did for her daughter's good. But why keep her in the dark about it? Why force her to follow blindly, without question, just because she's the mother and she knows what's best? You know, I get the whole underage thing but teens aren't stupid and I just loved how Calle planted her feet and bit back against her mother. While her mother was curled up on the floor crying, I was with Calle, rooting her on. She had a right to get angry and I got angry with her.

I just loved the whole realness of this entire novel. There was nothing fantastical about it. No love-at-first-sight. Just reality. Calle liked someone but she tried to keep her distance because, she knew, before long her feet would be walking again. But she couldn't help it. Too many people had taken her in and accepted her this time around. It was going to be harder to let go when she had to. But this boy turned out to come from as screwed up of a family as Calle's and instead of hiding it and pretending to be someone dumber as a means of not having to live it outside of his home, Calle brings about the strength in those around her, including her crush, because of the strength she held in herself. She really is an amazing character.

I was literally in tears at the end. While I felt the scissors swooped in and cut the bad out of the picture a little too smoothly, I didn't care. Finally Calle was going to have some semblance of normalcy and closure. I was so happy for her, but it was a jaded kind of happy. Considering the situation she received it, it just can't be a full-fledged happy.

And I just couldn't help but adore her love for older music (although some of that "older" music was stuff from the 90s, god, carbon date me, why don't you), her fight against the iPod (considering one kid made the news for taking 3 days to figure out how a cassette worked, how many teenagers actually know/how to use a Walkman?) and how stuck in the past she was. It's so psychological. The past is firm, solid. That's where memories are. By holding onto these older songs, Calle was able to grow some semblance of roots, even though it was just in her own mind. They were her sole Gibraltar comfort among the constant chaos of her life. I love seeing these old soul type of teens that really don't care much for the modern.

Read this book if you want something real; if you want it to touch the center of your heart and blossom. If you want to connect to a troubled girl that isn't involved in drugs or anything illicit; if you want to reach out and help someone like this but don't know how. If you just want to read a damn good book.

Want to win a copy? Just fill out the form below for your chance to win. Open to US residents 13 years of age and older only. One entry per person per email address. Contest ends October 2nd at midnight, EST.

The Space Between Trees by Katie Williams + Contest!

Published 2010.

In this haunting tale, quirky loner Evie is in the wrong place at the wrong time when her sometime friend and local crush, Jonah, discovers a body in the woods - a body that turns out to be that of her childhood playmate. At the funeral, a fateful lie leads Evie into a complicated relationship with the dead girl's father and best friend. Before she realizes what is happening, Evie is on the hunt for a killer, spinning more lies along the way and putting herself in serious danger. (book back blurb)

In all honesty, I like where this book started much more than where it ended. In the beginning, Evie was such an awkward character. Like awkward to the point of me actually cringing at some of the things she did. And the thing is, everyone knows at least one person just like this. They're alone. They crave contact, any contact, with someone and sometimes they act like they're 6 to get it. Not to mention they're oblivious to the obvious body language they're being projected from their target. It's uncomfortable to watch and just as uncomfortable to read about. That's what really drew me in.

Evie stayed her awkward self until the body was found and she started hanging out with Hadley, the dead girl's current friend (as opposed to Evie herself, being the dead girl's former friend). Her personality, from what I saw, visibly shifted. I still read about Evie as she normally was in her head. The awkwardness was still there. But outwardly that seemed to have gone away and, I think, rather abruptly. I just had a hard time trying to figure out why she was still awkward on the inside and not anymore on the outside. Did she get better at hiding it because of Hadley? I'm not sure.

Hadley was actually my favorite character, though. I wanted to help her so bad. She was so utterly wrecked after her best friend was killed and the sad thing was, no one was really there to help her. Her parents basically stuck her on drugs and left her to her own devises. Personally I think that's an excellent portrayal of parenting today. Drugs cure all, right? The thing is, Hadley isn't the type of character that would actually let you help her. She's one of those people with the tough exterior that's constantly putting on a front and constantly on the offensive. But those moments of weakness, when the hurt and the pain broke through, rounded her character out so thoroughly I could see her standing up from the page and telling the story herself.

The ending turned into a bit of a Lifetime movie for me. I wish there were more consequences to Evie's lies and the things Hadley did aside from merely growing as characters. There didn't seem to be any of that. I kept getting a real Wonder Years monologue going at the very end where all the loose ends were being tied up and wrapped in a pretty box. I'm not a fan of these types of endings. I like them messier. Here, though, everyone seemed to turn out okay and they all moved on with their lives. Pretty boring, if I had to be honest. And I usually do.

So while the plot is relatively stagnant, the characters carry the story in The Space Between Trees. I don't think you'll be reading it to figure out who Zabet's killer is because even within the story itself, it's not the main focus. You'll read it for the characters who are compelling and awkward and nasty and broken. I would change the ending if I could, but I can't. But some people like the kind of neat closure this story will offer and that's fine. I'm sure if it were told from Hadley's point of view, I would have gotten an ending as sloppy as her house.

Check out the first chapter of The Space Between Trees. This is the one that completely sucked me in if only for Evie's heinous awkwardness.

Contest Time!!!

Thanks to the wonderful people at Chronicle, I have a signed copy of The Space Between Trees to offer up to one lucky winner. Interested? Then fill out the form below for your chance to win. Open to US residents 13 years of age and older only. One entry per person, per email. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Contest ends August 14th at midnight, EST.

Middleworld: The Jaguar Stones Book 1 by J & P Voelkel + Contest!

Published 2010.

Fourteen-year-old Max Murphy, video-gamer extraordinaire, is furious when his archaeologist parents cancel the family vacation to go on a dig in Central America. But things go from bad to worse when Max is summoned to join them, only to discover that his parents have vanished. With the help of Lola, a fast-talking, quick-thinking Maya girl, Max embarks on a quest to find out just what's going on. Soon Max and Lola are running for their lives in the perilous rainforest, as they unlock ancient secrets, meet mysterious strangers, and begin to understand that, in San Xavier, nothing is ever as it seems.

Fate has delivered a challenge of epic proportions to Max Murphy. But can a teen whose biggest talent is for video games rescue his parents from the Maya Underworld and save himself from the villainous Lords of Death? (book back blurb)

For a middle grade book, this is certainly a long one! 400 pages plus a glossary of terms! Not that is wasn't compelling to read through but that's mighty long for YA let alone MG.

I found Max to be a rather unlikeable character for about 2/3rds of the book. He was whiny, bratty and self-centered and it was rather disturbing to watch him insult entire tribes with his tantrums. As with all good coming-of-age books, he does realize the err of his ways and starts doing things for the greater good as opposed for just himself but it's right on the cusp of too little too late for me. Once his character turned, he didn't show any signs of reverting but still, he was a right pain in the ass for a good chunk of the book.

Lola is such an awesome character. She puts Max in his place when he's acting like a spoiled brat (which is every other page), she can survive on her own, not to mention she's strong of character. Really I wish there were more characters like her in YA. In terms of this particular book, she added that female touch to the story that could draw girls into reading it (although girls will more readily read a book with a male protagonist than boys will read a book with a female protagonist). I really had no complaints about Lola at all. I could relate to her on so many levels and I really wished she was a more prominent part of the story. I'm hoping to see more of her in the sequel.

The story had some camp to it, like kind of stupid humor, and I'm not sure if that's sort of normal in MG books. I found it a little grating and sort of undermining but it wasn't really too prominent so it was easier to look over.

To me the best part of the book was the history. All of the Mayan stuff dripping throughout. And I swear I did not plan to read two Maya books back to back! It just worked out that way. Instead of being background information to fuel the story, all of the Mayan information in Middleworld was front and center. It was the story. It removed itself from history and became the present, combining the two in an action-packed river ride into a parallel world.

Middleworld certainly isn't short on action. There's never a dull moment as you turn the pages. I think the success of the book to the person hinges on how much the reader can tolerate Max. If you can make it through his rough patch where he's finding himself, you'll surely enjoy the ride after that. If you can't make it, I have to say you'll be missing some interesting twists. The liberties the Voelkels took with Mayan history were totally within believable parameters and had they not said anything, I would have believed The Jaguar Stones were real.

The glossary at the back of the book provides some great rounding information that puts some of the more foreign pieces of the story into a better context. Worth reading as well so don't skip it!

Contest Time!!!

Want my copy of Middleworld? Then fill out the form below for your chance to win! Open to US residents 13 years old and older only. One entry per person per email. Duplicate entries will be deleted. Ends August 12th at midnight, EST.

She Thief by Daniel Finn + Contest!

Published April 2010.

Baz and Demi are master pickpockets, the scourge of the street. They weave through rich neighborhoods, past armed guards and luxurious shops, to slip bags off shoulders and wallets out of pockets before disappearing into the crowd. Their loot goes to Fay, who runs a gang of child thieves from her den in the Barrio. This sweltering slum is what passes for home to Baz, and Fay is what passes for family.

That all changes the day Demi steals a magnificent blue ring. Soon, the police chief and the Barrio's crime boss close in on Fay, and she begins to break under their pressure.

Baz has never doubted Fay before. She's never been apart from Demi, either. But soon, Baz is left alone to find her way through a world more corrupt than she's ever realized. Here, the lives of children are thrown away without a moment's hesitation. Here, the rich and powerful are just thieves on a larger scale. And somewhere in this wreck of a city, Baz must find the scraps of hope, the small acts of kindness, and the steely strength that will take her back to Demi and wash them both out of the Barrio for good. (book back blurb)

While this book took me a little while to get through, and while it was pretty slow to get started, it had its moments that left me not wanting to put it down. There were moments where the fate of the kids was literally hanging in the balance and I wanted to find out what happened to them. There were also times where I wanted to say 'get the hell on with it.'

I think one of the reasons I found it so hard to really connect with any of the characters and the plot was the dialect the story is written in. I can handle dialect in short stories but an entire novel? It made for a slow read because my brain had a hard time getting around the choppy, clunky arrangement of words. The narration also flipped back and forth between "normal" and dialect and it kind of threw me off. It made it hard to determine whose head I was in, if anyone's. It was like the author couldn't decide whether to keep the point of view omniscient or limited and settled on the little bit of both.

The way those kids lived and were treated was terrible. And no matter what Fay's situation ended up being, she deserved everything she got. She never gave a damn about Demi or Baz beyond what they could provide for her. I guess she felt she deserved the position she was in. She worked her way for a while and then she got to settle and get others to do it for her. But the way she handed over kids basically to their deaths was atrocious. There were moments where I could half understand her situation and why she existed the way she did but most of the time I just didn't care. I couldn't stand her.

Baz and Demi had great ying and yang personalities. They complimented each other nicely and they really looked out for each other. The lengths they went to to protect and help each other was truly touching. Especially as the chapters wound down, I found myself rooting for them and plowing through the chapters faster than before because I wanted to see just what happened to them.

While the plot was very slow moving (the moment with the ring doesn't come until quite a few chapters in) and hard to get involved with because of the dialect barrier, Finn had an excellent way of projecting the dirt of the Barrio onto the reader. The grime and mange was both subtle and prominent in the story. It was every day lives for Baz and Demi and really had no effect on them. Washing in water that'll give you the shits? Not a problem so long as they didn't drink it. Traipsing around in mud and sewage? Whatever. They could wash it off. The image of the Barrio was so clear in my mind. The smells and the feel of the ward was right there and it was unnerving. That was probably the best part of the novel; just how engulfing the Barrio was, like you're actually standing in the middle of it.

Overall the story was a little slow but really compelling towards the end, Baz and Demi are pretty irresistible and Fay's a bitch. By the end of it you'll want to shower to get the Barrio grime off of your skin and you'll thank the gods you don't live in one.

Contest Time!!!

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Draw the Dark by Ilsa J. Bick + Contest!

Pub date: October 2010.

There are things in Winter, Wisconsin, folks just don't talk about. That murder way back in '45 is one. The near suicide of a first grade teacher is another. And then there is 17 year old Christian Cage. Christian's parents disappeared when he was a little boy, and ever since he's drawn and painted obsessively, trying desperately to remember his mother. The problem is Christian doesn't just draw his own memories. He can draw the thoughts of those around him. Confronted with fears and nightmares they'd rather avoid, people have a bad habit of dying. So it's no surprise that Christian isn't exactly popular.

What no one expects is for Christian to meet Winter's last surviving Jew and uncover one more thing best forgotten - the day the Nazis came to town. Based on a little known fact of the United States' involvement in World War II, Draw the Dark is a YA dark fantasy about reclaiming the forgotten past and the redeeming power of love. (book back blurb)

Reading this book was kind of like riding the TGV train in Europe. It starts off kind of slow, just chugging along, until it gets it footing in wide open fields and starts barreling at its full potential: ramming down the countryside at 200 miles per hour and you're sitting there wobbling with the carriage enjoying the ride but somewhere deep in the back of your mind you're hoping the brakes are good.

This was such an amazing book. The more I read, the more I wanted to devour. I didn't want my lunch break to end because I wanted to keep reading. Would they notice if I went I few minutes longer? I just swallowed it up once I got over the beginning. It did meander a bit and it was a little slow to start. I felt getting into Christian's head could have been trimmed some because I was starting to feel, after a while, like saying 'get on with it.' Oh get on it did.

When I first met Christian I initially thought he was a little slow, mentally. Just the way he talked and the way he was portrayed as acting he just didn't seem like he was "all there," is I guess what you would want to say. But by the end not only was I totally over that notion, I thought Christian was actually a brilliant kid with a power that he didn't know how to wield so he functioned around it, not knowing how to control it. I loved him and felt for him and I was right there behind his eyes with him every step of the way.

I want to say this book is historical fiction but, technically, it doesn't fit the bill. But Christian relives the memories of people so much and I learned so much history about Winter through Christian's eyes that it's hard not to call it historical fiction. It also has fantastical elements too. It doesn't start out that way but once we start seeing that Christian isn't just strange but actually has the power to see people's thoughts, draw them out and tap into their darkest fears to actually destroy them, the fantasy starts coming out.

What I liked most about that, though, was that it's fantastical grounded in the realistic. We don't really know what's going on with Christian but we're in his head experiencing everything he is. But all of his visions are rooted in reality. He's not seeing Fey or ghosts but genuine memories from the past that help to solve a decades old murder and vindicate lives lost, both literally and figuratively.

The history that Bick draws on, Nazi prison camps in the US, just spurned my want to find out more. Really? Nazis here? I knew that our own government rounded up Japanese when we entered the war and relocated them to camps but we had POW camps? A quick Google search uncovered an extensive list of all the POW camps in the US just after World War II. One was about 20 minutes from where I live now, at the local airport. Reading, even fiction, enlightens us to historical facts sometimes. But in the midst of all of this, the strife that this caused this town of Winter (whether the actual events were real or not) is horrifying. A town populated by Jews are losing their jobs to Nazi prison workers. When they tried to unionize, the POWs took their jobs then too. Horrible.

The ending was bittersweet. It wraps up the overall story and the mystery aspect of the plot but at the same time shatters something so sweet and innocent it actually took my breath away. It doesn't end on a fluffy, happy note, but an empowering one. Christian has grown up. He's not seen as some weirdo that likes to draw and keeps to himself all the time. He saves people. He solves murders. And he still draws. He tried his hardest to break out of his own shell and let people in. But even at the end, whether he survives his own accomplishments is in question.

The writing is glorious, compelling, and will suck you right into your own sideways place. Maybe you'll want to crawl out and back into the light. Maybe you won't. But you'll go in there and meet Christian. You'll curl up in his brain and ride his life with him. You'll feel his pain, his fear, his anger, his frustration. And when the last page turns, you'll be feigning for more.

If you want a book that'll tug at your brain and your heart all at once, read Draw the Dark. It's a gripping historical fiction set during the present day and told through the eyes of a teenager with a miraculous and terrifying gift. Once you hop aboard the train, it'll take you away and while you might be afraid of the speed, you won't want to get off. You'll never want it to end.

Contest Time!!!

The lovely people at Carolrhoda Lab has graciously given me a copy of Draw the Dark to give away (because I'll be damned if I relinquish my copy!). Trust me, guys. You want to read this one. Just fill out the form below for your chance to win!

Light Beneath Ferns by Anne Spollen

Published 2010.

Elizah Rayne is nothing like other fourteen-year-old girls. More interested in bird bones than people, she wraps herself in silence. Trying to escape the shadow of her gambler father, Elizah and her mother move into an old house that borders a cemetery. All her mother wants for them is to have "normal" lives. But that becomes impossible for Elizah when she finds a human jaw bone by the river and meets Nathaniel, a strangely hypnotic boy who draws Elizah into his dreamlike and mysterious world.

Only by forgetting everything she knows can Elizah understand the truth about Nathaniel - and discover an unimaginable secret. (book back blurb)

This is a ghost story. An awesome, awesome ghost story. I can't really say what it is that I loved about this book so much. Maybe because it was a ghost story unlike anything I've ever read. It wasn't scary but at the same time it was kind of creepy. They're not ghosts that haunt and torment but remind and maybe love. It was just so unique that I honestly want to read it again just to soak it in even more.

Elizah is a loner by nature, which some people just can't grasp the concept of. People think that because someone actually chooses to not want to interact with people that there's something inherently wrong with them. The guidance counselor that Elizah goes to feels this is the case and not only she but Elizah's mother forces social interaction on her in a gross attempt to make her "normal." I can kind of relate to Elizah simply because I'm a loner myself. Not quite to the extent she is but I am looked at oddly by some people because I choose not to go out and socialize. Not to say I don't have friends; I'm just horrendously picky of the company I keep and bar hopping every weekend is not only a waste of my money, it's just not my scene. I have better things to do. Like talk to the voices in my head.

My favorite aspect of the story was the imagery of Nathaniel's village. Just the way it was described your mind couldn't really picture it without it being coated in a cold mist, as if looking through an early morning lens. You could see what it looked like but at the same time it was never really clear. You knew it looked like that colonial reproduction village just down stream but it fades in and out of the shadows as the sun casts them through the trees. Or doesn't. It was just so gripping and ethereal, tangible and intangible at the same time. I wanted to go there and see it for myself and just hoped I'd be able to get back. It leaves you (or you leave it) with a sense that just maybe if you took the wrong turn, you might not make it back. It's not scary but it is unsettling.

The adults in this book irk the crap out of me. I kind of half understand the mother's situation because she was married to a degenerate gambler for so long that was so afraid of people coming after him for money that he forced his family into solitude. I get that. But at the end of the day she was really self-involved and didn't so much care about how Elizah felt but more how people would view her because of Elizah's "abnormal" actions. She really wasn't a likable character and I'm not sure if she was supposed to be. She's damaged, yes, but I was in Elizah's head with her in every conversation she had with her mother going, "yeah, it's all about you, isn't it?" I felt it. I don't think you even needed to be an objective third party to know that.

The rest of the adults were kind of stock characters, cookie-cutter cut-outs that were way too into normal. But maybe that was the point. Maybe this overwhelming sense of suburbanite normalcy that ran throughout the book was a means to overcompensate for what they previously lived through. Sure, Dirk was too into playing the father-figure role and took it on way too quickly, but maybe that was the point. He's normal. Elizah's mother wanted normal and fast. I guess it fits.

I loved how Elizah's father was often compared to the actions of a ghost, flitting in and out of someone's life, neither there or not. A presence more than anything tangible. It described him perfectly; except for how much of a creep he really was. Big creep.

Nathaniel is the best part. It's pretty obvious from the beginning just what he is, and it's pretty easy to make the connections once the character start talking about local legends and Indian lore but I don't think it was meant to be subtle. But what was was Elizah's and Nathaniel's inherent connection to each other. That was subtle and I really liked how in the background it was kept. The notion of past lives was barely even scratched but it was there enough to make you question what was going on in that entire situation. It left a whole different, and separate, story lingering at the end that you wished was filled in but you're left to use just your imagination.

It's a sad love story and a sad friendship story really. The only people Elizah connects with are those in the cemetery and really, being a loner isn't all it's cracked up to be. But somehow the entire situation is settling for her. She accepts it for what it is and while she wants to ask more of it, she doesn't because she knows she won't get it.

It's a story about a loner that isn't as much of a loner as she thought she was. It's a ghost story and a love story. A story of loss and healing. But really, it's just a great story.

Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy by Ally Carter + Contest!

First published in 2007.

After staking out, obtaining, and then being forced to give up her first boyfriend, Josh, all Cammie Morgan wants is a peaceful semester. But that's easier said than done when you're a CIA legacy and go to the premier school in the world . . . for spies.

Cammie may have a genius IQ, but there was still a lot of things she doesn't know. Like, will her ex-boyfriend even remember she exists? And how much trouble is she really in after what happened last semester? And most of all, why is her mother acting so strangely?

Despite Cammie's best intentions to be a normal student, danger seems to follow her. She and her friends learn that their school is going to play host to some mysterious guests - code name: Blackthorne. Then she's blamed for a security breach that leaves the school's top secret status at risk.

Soon Cammie and her friends are crawling through walls and surveilling the school to learn the truth about Blackthorne and clear Cammie's name. Even though they have confidence in their spy skills, this time the targets are tougher (and hotter), and the stakes for Cammie's heart - and her beloved school - are higher than ever. (book flap blurb)

I really like the first book just for how grounded in reality all of the characters were. Well, as realistic as genius, teenage, female spies could be. This book is no different. We get to see Cammie softening up a little bit. The outside world seeps in and she's not as invulnerable to normal teenage girl things after all. But despite all of the outside forces working against her, she tries her hardest to maintain her eye on the prize, putting being a spy student first and thinking about the repercussions of her actions in association with that. All of her friends follow suit and I like how they haven't changed character from the last book. Except Macey but in a good way. To stick it to her father, she aims for straight A's because he feels that her report card of A's and B's couldn't have been had by her alone. That she must have cheated. When she didn't. I liked Macey even more in this book and she's fitting in great with the rest of the girls.

I don't want to give away what Blackthorne is but I was less than thrilled with their appearance. I think the story could have been just as good working around having them actually come to the school but I do understand the reason Cammie's mother gave at the end for why they brought them there.

The climax of the book I could see coming as soon as it started. Not to mention the situation made me question the thought process of these supposed spies. They're supposed to be functioning three steps ahead of everyone but when the school is breached and top secret information is stolen, it seemed kind of out there that the only people to retrieve it were a bunch of sophomore girls. I didn't think spies were supposed to act first, think later so this portion of it made it hard for me to suspend my disbelief and just go with it. The pieces didn't match up and, personally, I felt the whole class should have figured that out well before the big reveal was made.

Another boy enters Cammie's life and really, the entire time I was hoping they wouldn't get together because he really was a prick. He was very condescending to her, always talking down to her, being nasty to her. I didn't like the way he treated her and, good for her, she stuck to her guns and was like, WTF? There was some back and forth there because she was just as antagonistic back and it's hard to get over that whole school yard "I'm going to pull your pigtails but not because I hate you" mantra and he did have some issues that made them more similar than Cammie originally thought. I really liked how Carter wrote out that relationship and kept Cammie true to Cammie instead of forfeiting her girl power for a hot guy. Big thumbs up there.

Overall I didn't think it was as good as the first one and I felt the plot was reaching a little further as well but I love the characters and I love how they stay true to themselves. I think this is something that's lacking in YA as of late and it's refreshing to see the likes of Cammie stand up to what she believes in while at the same time still being human. Underneath all that spy facade is a teenage girl. She still has weaknesses and we still see them but she's strong enough to know just who she is and she doesn't lose herself. I love it. Definitely a recommended read for anyone looking for a stronger female main character that can stand her ground but still be human and relatable at the same time.

Contest Time!!!

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Albatross by Josie Bloss + Contest!

Published February 1, 2010.

Everyone at Tess's new school warns her that Micah is bad news - a heartbreaker. And a girl named Daisy is acting like she owns him. Still, Tess can't ignore her attraction to this brooding, brilliant, friendless emo-guy who can turn on the charm - or heart-shredding scorn - at a moment's notice. Starting over in a new town after her parents' split isn't easy for Tess, and Micah feels like her first real connection. But then their bond suddenly feels like shackles.

Caught in an obsessive triangle of jealousy and codependence, can Tess learn to break away and find herself again? (book blurb)

Here is what the press release that came with the book had to say about this title:

Despite pop culture's obsession with brooding, supernatural antiheroes like Edward Cullen, one of the most common critiques of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series is the unhealthy relationship between Bella and Edward - that Edward is a bully and Bella is a doormat. Yet teen girls thrive on this unbalanced relationship dynamic. Perhaps this is because they so rarely find an alternative in the literature of today.

As a response to this trend, young adult novelist Josie Bloss penned Albatross (Flux, February). A complete departure from her previous, lighthearted Band Geek books, Albatross is a dark and tense story of codependency and psychological abuse in teen relationships. The distinguishing element is that the ultimate message is one of hope, but not without some truly distressing poor decisions made on the part of the protagonist.

I have never read a release about a book that was so accurate it could have knocked a fly off of a cliff from 3 miles away. This book is everything Twilight needs to be. I read through this one in a day (would have been a sitting had I not had to work), I couldn't get enough of it, probably because I saw a lot of myself in the protagonist. While I didn't come from the same type of family situation save for the divorce (my dad is nowhere near a prick like Tess's is), I was of a similar temperament in high school. I dated guys that weren't good for me, that treated me like crap but I was so desperate for the attention that I took it and asked what I was doing wrong when something completely out of my control happened. It was eerie and at points I was actually nauseous, it hit that close to home.

It's funny how when you see such a prick of a character like Micah from a third person perspective, it really easy to see how much of an asshole he really is. And holy shit is he ever. But standing in Tess's shoes, and I can see myself doing this at her age, you eat it up. You want this unattainable person. Don't you always want what you can't have? He keeps himself distanced from Tess, taunting her, teasing her and leaving her wanting to come back for more. But while the secondary characters (mainly Tess's friends) say that Micah destroys any girls he touches, I think he just has a knack for attracting vulnerable girls. Or they're drawn to him, either way. Because they're so vulnerable (like Tess having to deal with a divorce and a schmuck for a father), and they're vying for attention, what he gives them, they take.

You can clearly see the Bella and Edward dynamic in Tess and Micah and I really hope anyone that reads this book that loved Twilight and loved Bedward's relationship will see how it really is and how destructive it is. It's easier to match symptoms when you have something to match them against. Being in it you may be blind to it but relating with Tess and seeing what she's going through, maybe it'll help some girls escape a destructive relationship that's been romanticized by current YA fiction.

The writing is simple yet poignant. It tells the story in Tess's words and how only she would see it. It hurts to be inside her head when she's struggling with her feelings for Micah. It'll make you want to shout at the book to drop him. You'll be right along with her inner voice telling her to run away and you'll get disgruntled when she caves yet again. The story rips at you and, hopefully, will make you evaluate your relationships a little more thoroughly. Is that guy of yours pushing and pulling at you? Maybe it's time to drop him. The parallels between Tess and her mother are scary but disturbingly true so many times yet so many fall to repeating history on a subconscious level.

The ending is very Lifetime movie but not sickly sweet. It's positive without being sappy and leaves you with a good feeling that everything will work itself out. There isn't a prince that saves Tess's day. Only Tess did that and that just reiterated the overwhelmingly powerful message this book has. No one else can get you out of it except you. You need the strength to do it. You just need to listen to that inner voice of yours.

I absolutely loved this book. If you're looking for an antithesis of Twilight, you will too.

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Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

First published in 2009.

“Dead girl walking,” the boys say in the halls.

“Tell us your secret,” the girls whisper, one toilet to another.

I am that girl.

I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.

I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.

Lia and Cassie were best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies. But now Cassie is dead. Lia’s mother is busy saving other people’s lives. Her father is away on business. Her stepmother is clueless. And the voice inside Lia’s head keeps telling her to remain in control, stay strong, lose more, weigh less. If she keeps on going this way – thin, thinner, thinnest – maybe she’ll disappear altogether. (bn.com)

My jaw was on the floor by page 14. Literally. I have a big mouth.

This book was so stunningly good that I'm almost at a loss for words. Almost.

The language is so amazingly realistic that it just sucks you right into the story. It wraps around you like a blanket and keeps you warm through the chill of this wintergirl. It's probably the most realistic teen voice I've ever read. It's not overwrought to the point of ridiculous and it's not dumbed down emo to the point of hurling it across the room. It's a delicate balance of words that expertly captures what this girl is going through. Absolutely stunning.

It's loquacious without being melodramatic. It's precise without spelling everything out. You can feel the chill in her bones, feel the snow in her boots, feel the wind whistling through her skin. It's disgusting and captivating and you can't look away. It's impossible. So you keep reading and reading and reading and swallow it whole like Lia so desperately wants to swallow a muffin.

This is real. This is something that so many teens suffer through, and not just girls. And it's not just about being skinny; it's about power and the need to control your own life. The only thing that Lia can control in her world of absentee parents is what she eats. She is strong but so very weak.

I am absolutely amazed reading this book because I find it so hard to relate to someone like this yet I'm so captivated by the story. I don't think there's a teenage girl out there that doesn't have weight issues. While I was never even close to anorexia or bulimia, I was a pretty big exercise nut. I often took double gym classes (which sometimes meant twice in one day on block scheduling, 84 minutes each class) plus sports plus exercising when I got home. But I was never an unhealthy weight. 119 was my thinnest during those years and that lasted for about 10 minutes. 122 was my standard, a far cry from Lia's 85 goal. Christ. I'm a heifer when those two numbers are compared, especially since I weigh about 15 pounds more now.

But I remember, especially when I was heavy into sports, forcing myself to eat something substantial for lunch because food was energy and I wouldn't be able to perform if I didn't eat. Was I sick for how much I exercised? No, not really. I could have gone a lot harder. Instead of a weightman (and a shitty weightman I was), I could have sprinted and been really damn good at it. But I didn't because the sprinting coach was an asshole and I didn't want to run for him. When the winter coaches found out my speed I made them promise not to tell the spring coach. And they kept their word.

Am I stronger because I never succumbed to an eating disorder? I'd like to think so but not everyone's like me. Not everyone's that strong although, like in the book, they feel they are. That anorexic support group website where they constantly told each other how strong they were was absolutely disgusting. And I know it's true. That's not the first time I've heard of something like that. Do they know any better? They think they're okay. Nevermind they're constantly cold, dizzy, physically weak. They're skinny. Double zeros.

I know a girl about a year older than me who weighs 85 pounds out of no effort of her own. She eats like a horse at a trough and cannot, for the life of her, gain the weight. And she gets shit from everyone, including doctors, about how "anorexic" she is. They don't believe her when she says she eats. I knew another girl, my freshman year of high school, who was confined to a wheel chair because she'd just come out of a center like the one in the book for girls with eating disorders. She was exceptionally thin and she was forced to gain back all the weight that she lost. I found out fairly recently that one of my good friends was anorexic. Her home life was absolute shit so along with the drugs and the drinking, there was that. Thankfully she's perfectly fine now, absolutely healthy (aside from the cigarettes) with a beautiful bobble-headed boy (if you saw this kid, you'd cringe for how big his head is) and a loving husband that saw her through all of that shit (yes, they've been together since high school).

I really liked the ending of this book because sometimes it takes exceptionally drastic measures for people to realize what they're doing to themselves. It's not all sunshine and lollipops to get out of something like this and even with the knowledge of how her friend died, Lia still didn't stop. Cassie was a bad influence even in death and didn't stop until the end, and beyond.

I think this book dealt with the issue excellently. There was no sugar-coating anything. Death by ruptured esophagus is an atrocious way to die and so highly plausible that it should scare people straight. The internal struggle portrayed felt like it was going on in my own head. When I was reading, there wasn't anything going on around me. I was in the story, in Lia's head, watching everything unfold. I felt her want and need to eat and I was just as sad as she was when she didn't give in to it.

This book is eye-opening and I'm sure way too many teens can relate to what's between the covers. But maybe it can help them too. There is light at the end of the tunnel but you have to be strong enough to reach for it. The people there aren't trying to hold you down, they're trying to lift you up. Take the lead out of your pockets and let them because I know you don't want to die. No one really does, not when they end up so close to actually doing it.