Oh hey!

I'm finally here, on the other side of the country, in a different time zone, in a different climate and hopefully in a different car soon enough.  The drive took us four and a half rather long days and crossing a few states that could right be interchanged with each other, a few that smell like cow farts and one that made me briefly consider vegetarianism.  

We stayed in some rather Sam and Deanish motels (that even the brothers might want to keep driving by, in all honesty, I know I did) -

St. Claire, MO.

Shamrock, TX, a sad town depopulated after Route 66 was re-routed.

Gallup, NM - I'd recommend avoiding altogether. Not a sad Route 66 town like Shamrock but a horrifying one filled with gangs.  Not fun.

Ate some incredible food -

The Big Gibby in MO.

And saw more of the country than most Americans will ever see.  Now I'm spitting distance from one of my favorite vacation destinations, I may get to see a Disney spot in my lifetime and I'll never have to scrape ice off of my car again.  Although in the four days we've been here I'm pretty sure we've seen all the weather Arizona can possibly have to offer (sudden and torrential downpours, extreme heat, a day of rain and humidity and a sand storm).  I left the humidity shit in Connecticut.  At least I thought I did.

I want to say it was "so hot" when we had to unload the truck but 105 is relatively normal for this time of year here.  Except that didn't make unloading the truck any better.

The truck at pick-up in CT.

Twenty-six feet plus a ten foot trailer on the back.  We had five people helping us load it and only the two of us to unload it on this end.  Unloading it made me throw up.  Literally.  I got heat exhaustion and spent a small chunk of time with my head in the toilet.  After that I stayed inside and organized, making sure we could fit boxes in while Soldier Boy unloaded.  I felt utterly useless because I couldn't handle the truck but at least I was doing something.  By that time it was mostly just unloading boxes (we'd gotten most of the large stuff off by then) and we had a hand truck for that to it make it easier.  Somewhat.  He wasn't thrilled having to do that by himself but he didn't hold it against me.  It was a trade.  He did that and I packed in the spare bedroom (this is a temporary place and we plan on moving again in a couple months with the help of Mayflower, fuck doing it ourselves to save money) and unpacked the boxes we needed.  Fair enough although I still felt useless while he was sweating and heaving in the heat.  According to him the couple tours in Afghanistan and CrossFit helped him out in that regard.  I'll take it.

I'm still a bit discombobulated and don't have a schedule yet although I will be starting my new job on the 17th.  So give me a little more time to get my shit together and I'll be back to this program regularly soon enough.  At the moment I'm just trying to get a new car.  The notion of having to drive my car, without air conditioning, in Arizona right now is just appalling.  I need a new one ASAP.

This is me headed out.

dunderklumpen

It's time for me to pack up my computer and head west.  Not only are we migrating over Labor Day weekend but apparently we have a slight tropical depression to deal with once we hit Missouri.  Lovely.  It's all about timing at this point and the luck of Mother Nature.  Fingers crossed Isaac takes a harder right than is originally planned.  Granted that whole area kind of needs rain at the moment.

Anyway the next time I post it'll be from my new temporary home in Arizona.  In the interim I'll be posting updates on Twitter and tumblr as I migrate because, well, it's a road trip and interesting things are bound to happen.  We're staying in rather Sam and Dean-ish hotels along the way in towns that people may or may not go to die.  So of nothing else it'll be interesting.  And I'll have a dog in the car with me.  He'll be my co-pilot.  So follow me if you want to be subject to some rather interesting updates.

I didn't get a chance to post any of my features these last couple of weeks and I wanted to get at least one more Shitty YA Boy Toys up but it'll have to wait.  Mayflower isn't moving my ass so, you know, I had to pack myself.  So bear with me and I'll be back to my regularly scheduled posting soon enough. Probably just in time to move again out of our temporary housing and into something semi-permanent.

See you all on the other side.

And Then My Life Burps

So this past week I was on vacation.  Technically.  Except it was more of a scouting mission.  Last year it was recognizance.  Soldier boy and I have been talking about a major move for over a year now and I don't just mean across state lines.  We're crossing time zones here.  With this last trip it officially cemented our plans and things are now official . . . we're moving!  The blog, it's staying in this space.  We us, we're leaving the land of snow behind.

We're currently here -

Source

Not in either of those cities, mind you, but in this state.  I've officially wanted to leave it since 2007.  Snow sucks, cold sucks, ice sucks, allergies blow dogs for quarters and it's far too damn expensive to live here.  And yay for retroactive taxing.  Thbbpp.

Soldier boy, while not a native like I, has lived here long enough that he too felt the same way.  So we started planning.  And throwing darts at a map, basically.  He was the one that originally threw this state out there.  My initial reaction was, "it's landlocked."  Seeing as how I have an irrational fear of landlocked states it wasn't really on my radar but after the original recognizance and realizing the ocean is a mere four hours away, and a west coast ocean at that, I was pretty much sold.

Adding a cost of living that's literally half of what it is in Connecticut, their record snow fall amount of .08 inches twenty years ago and my ability to surf in non-crappy non-sound water and I was waiving the state's flag.

Except in terms of politics it's pretty much the total opposite of Connecticut.  And I mean total ying and yang opposite, from gun control to women's reproductive issues to blue versus red, opposites.  Yes, I'm a little leery of moving to a state with a hyperactive legislature that passes bills allowing doctors to withhold vital pre-natal information from parents if they believe it'll lead to an abortion.  That's horrifying.  Thankfully Planned Parenthood is on top of that shit like Sally Struthers on cake.  But if the state explodes we'd be bookended by more liberal states that'll help me protect my uterus.  So it's a slightly easier pill to swallow.

With that being said, this is where we're moving, if you haven't figured it out yet and don't follow me on Tumblr or Pinterest -

Source

It was 114 degrees out there this past week and I'm still okay with it.  Why?  Because 114 with 10% humidity is far easier to deal with than 95 degrees with 87% humidity.  Yes, 114 can get really unpleasant if you're walking around in direct sunlight and you do need proper sunglasses that actually function so your retinas don't burst into flames.  But you don't feel like the air is being sucked out of your lungs.  New England can keep it's humidity.  Give me the desert.

So, yes, it's one hell of a move.  Over 2,500 miles of driving across a country that's mostly tinder box.  The preparation has been relatively easy but that drive is going to be pretty awful.  Neat, but awful, taking it in 9 hour clips.  I fully plan on making us stop at the tacky places in the Midwest like the giant ball of twine.  Gas requirements are going to force us to stop every few hours anyway so might as well get the tchotchke in.  Not to mention it'll be just the two of us moving things in once we get out there.  In 110 degree heat.  At least our place is on the first floor.  And the central air will be set to sub-Arctic.

With that being said things might get a little sporadic around here since my belongings aren't going to pack themselves.  And then once we start the drive posting will stop until we have internet set up at the new place.  Our first priority is air conditioning so it'll be one thing at a time.  You'll still see me for the next few weeks but just so you have an explanation ahead of the game as to why my posting will get a little sporadic for the next month.

Life happens.  I'm okay with it.