Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Contest Reminder + Does this hook you?

Just a reminder to everyone that my contest for two copies of Vampire Taxonomy ends tonight at midnight, EST! Be sure to get your entries in by then!

Now, I can't remember if I mentioned it here or not but I'm entering my manuscript into Amazon's Breakthrough Novel Contest for YA. Not only do I have to finish editing it (really, I'm almost done) but I want to get all of the elements ready to submit for the start date since it's only open to the first 5,000 entries (each for YA and standard novel). One of those elements is I need a hook. One thing I'm not good at: writing short.

Blech. It's so hard for me to condense and it'll rightly take me longer to write a 100 word hook than it would to write the 55,000 word manuscript. So I need your help. I've started writing my hook and while I'm still finagling it, I'd like your opinion on the first sentence. Please, be honest. Brutally if need be.

It's just another earthquake until Sylfaerie Stallone pistol-whips someone with a goo gun.
Help me!

8 comments:

Amanda said...

I think it's hilarious! What is a goo gun, though? Like a glue gun?

It's quirky and different, which is wonderful, I think. :) Good luck!

Kris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wrighty said...

It definitely gets my attention! I would absolutely read a book that started out with that sentence! I would have to find out what that goo gun was and why Sylfaerie is pistol whipping someone with it. Best of luck! You are obviously a very talented writer and I can't wait to read your novel!

Aye.Me? said...

It's very intriguing!
Makes me want to read on... so that's gotta be a good sign! And that is my brutal honesty. :)

Aye.Me?
Reversing The Monotony

Rabid Fox said...

That's a heckuva pitch line. I'm also curious about the goo gun. :)

barbrafl said...

Hmm, interesting. You've already got me wondering. Sounds great. Good luck entering. I wanted to enter, but don't have enough time to even finish the novel :(

Donna said...

Thanks for your comments, everyone! I know there was another comment in there that didn't like it so much and I appreciate the honesty!

This thing's driving me nuts! More than the book itself!

Jessica Kennedy said...

I like the line but not the name. I couldn't read it smoothly, I stumbled all over that name. :(

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