80s Awesomeness! ~ 175

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Look vaguely familiar?  Did a particular song pop into your head and now won't leave you until at least Friday?  It should.  This is the original Baywatch cast from 1989.  I know The Hoff is kind of unrecognizable with his shirt on but the bathing suits on the women should be a dead giveaway.  Baywatch originally ran from 1989 to 1990 and was cancelled because no one was watching.  Surely you jest.  The Hoff, being the repository of genius that he is, kept pushing and brought the show back in 1991 with a cast that'll be more familiar to many, including myself.

Yes, I was an avid Baywatch fan back in my youth, mainly for Hobie.  I loved Hobie.  Remember when he got all wrapped up in the jellyfish tentacles and almost drowned?  I was traumatized.  I also didn't understand the slow motion running scenes that plagued every episode.  Oh what innocent eyes I had.

Here's the pilot intro.  It may throw your senses into a state of confusion -


And the one that most of us know and tolerate. Try not to sing too loud. You'll scare the children.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 174

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Today is catch-up day!  Hooray!

Look familiar?  The original incarnation of The Simpsons, making their first appearance on The Tracey Ullman Show in 1989.  They've, um, reformed since then, streamlining the look just a smidge.  Quite frankly they look like something out of a nightmare here.  But yes, you can thank the 80s for the cartoon powerhouse that is The Simpsons.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 173

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

A show before my time, Square Pegs was about two girls (does one of them look familiar?) just trying to fit in at school.  You know, square peg, round hole?  Ha ha?  Right.  I've never seen an episode and the series only lasted a season but I do know they padded Amy Linker's outfits (the one that isn't Sarah Jessica Parker) to make her look heavier.  Apparently that made her even more uncool.  Add in the fraulein hair, weird clothes and braces and I don't think she could have gotten any squarer.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 172

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

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I watched the shit out of this show when I was little, what with their  bear-caring stares and super-powered tummies fighting the forces of evil.  I don't really remember much else about the show except that I had one of the plush bears; mine was the sleepy bear that had a glow-in-the-dark moon and stars on its tummy, tired eyes and a night cap (the non-alcoholic kind).


Holy dear god did I remember every word to that theme song when it came up. Couldn't they get someone that wasn't tone deaf to sing it?

80s Awesomeness! ~ 171

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

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You're probably looking at that picture going, "HEY!  Wait . . ."  You're mostly likely familiar with this show's 90s incarnation, SAVED BY THE BELL, which has a few familiar faces pulled from the image above.  But SAVED BY THE BELL's beginnings was in 1988 with GOOD MORNING, MISS BLISS.  SAVED BY THE BELL, the junior high years.  Apparently when Zach, Lisa and Screech went to Bayside Belding went with them.  The pilot for MISS BLISS was actually vastly different, catering to more of a younger tween crowd than these burgeoning high schoolers.  Check out the original pilot here, if you can stay awake through the opening theme.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 170

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Who didn't love this cat-eating alien?  Hell, I don't even remember what the premise of the show was about.  But I do remember having an ALF lunch box.  It was red.  Here's the basic rundown -

Gordon Shumway, last known survivor from the planet Melmac, crash-lands his spaceship into the Tanner family's suburban garage. Willie dubs him "ALF", short for Alien Life Form. The Tanners decide to take ALF in as a member of the family.  (source)

Nope.  Didn't even remember that ALF's real name was Gordon.  Kind of lame but okay.  Still, I know I liked the show.  I think.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 169

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Married with Children - Fox

Another reason to thank the 80s: Married With Children.  Nothing screams down home like crass family life with a money-grubbing wife, a dead-end husband, a ditzy bimbo daughter and an idiotic demon son.  Kind of a nice contract to the likes of the Keatons, huh?  You know you're humming the theme song right now and picturing Al Bundy sitting on the couch with his hand down his pants.  Don't lie.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 168

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Yup.  You know you watched it.  You damn well know you can recall that episode where Cherie gets herself stuck in a refrigerator.  You know you wanted to hit Margaux with a car.  And you know this was such an atypical show for the 80s that it couldn't help but stand out.  An orphan being raised by some old dude named Henry?  Sure he may have been a little reluctant but you can't deny he loved Punky.  Few children's show hold up to Punky Brewster.  Screw the Olsen twins.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 167

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Do you have any idea what 80s category I've been blissfully ignorant of?  ALL THIS TIME?  For which it would provide an even more infinite amount of gnarly fodder?

TV!

Yeah, dumbass is me.  So I have some catching up to do there.  Glad I remembered that NOW.  Thanks, brain.  Nice to you know come through for me when I need you.

BA Baracus, Face, Hannibal and Howling Mad were the epitome of vigilante crime fighters on the lam from the law.  Not a show that I watched, probably because I was about three, but there was enough love for the original that they re-released it as a movie that I half watched.  Meh, not really my thing but at least I know what people are talking about.  Now let's talk about getting BA on a plane, shall we?

80s Awesomeness! ~ 166

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

Yet another crazy fad from the 80s, I was never personally into Strawberry Shortcake but I knew people that were.  I know her dolls smelled like strawberries but I'll be damned if I can tell you much else about the cartoon or the dolls or pretty much anything else Strawberry Shortcake.




So apparently Strawberry Shortcake was anything and everything her copyright owner could make her.  Cereal, toys, cartoon, it didn't really matter.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 165

80s Awesomeness! is an original concoction of my insanity need to live in the 80s. The flashback started here and posts weekly on Saturdays, highlighting the best of 80s fashion, music, movies and whatever else the coked up, yuppie Rubik's Cube decade can throw at you.

From Reese's Pieces to phoning home and every alien freak-out in between, ET effectively defined a decade.  And actually made aliens appealing although I doubt it made Ridley Scott happy.  You know you cried your eyes out when ET started dying and Eliot had to break him out of that lab.  And you cried again when Spielberg went insane and decided to "digitally remaster" the movie.  THOSE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE WALKIE TALKIES!  Let's just keep the threat levels where they should be, shall we?

80s Awesomeness! ~ 164

It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time.  It's tricky.

One of the originators of rap (although I know they're not the first, they're certainly the ones that blew it up), it's hard to not like Run DMC.  Their tunes are catchy, their beats are wicked and it's just hard to deny their awesomeness when they improve upon the likes of Aerosmith.  Welcome to the world of shell toes.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 163

After my first official foray into Lethal Weapon land the other day at the behest of Soldier Boy, I realized that my next 80s Awesomeness! post needs to be about an 80s movie staple: the saxophone.  Watch an 80s movie and you'll be hard-pressed to NOT hear some random saxophone music playing in the background.  Lethal Weapon is wrought with this -

Even my most favoritest movie in ever has your token saxophone music -

It's a staple. Like 80s boob.  Sax and boob.  That can rightly define 80s movies right there.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 162

I don't know very much about Final Fantasy other than it was a spawn of the 80s and is a pretty important video game as far as video games are concerned.  An epic role playing game that started off having far fewer pixels and are more two dimensional stuff.  And then it evolved into this -

That's about all of it.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 161

WASTOID!!!

AKA a loser.  You may or not remember Emilio Estevez's character Andy in The Breakfast Club slinging this particular piece of insult at the "criminal" John Bender, aka Judd Nelson for wanting to blaze a doobie.  For which he caves to peer pressure and actively participates.  Way to stand by your laurels, Andy.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 160

That, my friends, is a Glo Worm.  A nightlight in toy form, it came complete with it's own cartoon, as did many other 80s toys.  Or vise versa.  I personally never had one of these guys.  In fact I don't even remember them being around.  But Soldier Boy here is familiar with this toy and he assures me it was neither soft nor cuddly.  Mainly because of its hard plastic face.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 159

Oh yeah.  Raise your hand if you DIDN'T wear these.  And they looked so totally real, just resting on top of your nail like that.  And when you managed to rip one off, even though it's not your real nail you still cringed a little anyway.  And then just rubbed that sticker glue off of your fingers.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 158

While David Bowie originated in the 70s he had a major influence on the 80s and, well, it's my birthday and I'll Dance, Magic, Dance if I want to.  In May of 1983 David Bowie had a hit, Let's Dance.  I was birthed in the glory of this music.  I just don't know what it is about him but holy crap is he a basket of sex.  Have you SEEN his codpiece in Labyrinth?

80s Awesomeness! ~ 157

I'm ashamed of myself for not featuring Dirty Dancing yet.  While not my favorite 80s movie (I'm not super big on chick flicks) my heart isn't entirely black and I do enjoy a good "nobody puts baby in the corner" kick.  One of many movies where dancing makes a person come alive, and brings together different side-track-dwelling people, it's still a good one and will most likely still make panties melt despite the fact that Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey hated each others' guts.

80s Awesomeness! ~ 156

Narbo!!!

Yup.  It's slang.  Stands for those of the dork/geek/spaz variety that inevitably do something stupid.  I'm pretty sure I've heard that word before in describing something hedonistic.  These two definitions seem rather contradictory since your standard dork probably doesn't do sexy time things in spades.  A narbo in Narbo!